Chapter 74

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***Stha's POV.

My name is Sthabiso Lisakhanya Thabede , I'm 16 years old. Growing up for me was never all sweet and rosy nor was is a happy or enjoyable childhood that I had , I had to grow up in an uncomfortable environment where I was constantly crucified for my mother's sins - a woman who's never bothered herself with me or to get to know me. I had to grow up enduring pain and abuse my stepmother's and half siblings inflicted on me while my own father watched and never stood up for me. My father. Just saying those two words makes me angry or makes me wanna laugh cause it's like I'm a joke. Sometimes I'd even wish that I was an orphan because then I'd never have any expectations from anyone to actually love or adore me , knowing that my parents were dead. Sometimes I do wish theu were but I remember that it'd be selfish of me to wish that because they both have kids they love with their partners. My Grandma had been the most amazing parent to me in the whole wide world. She always made sure that I spent all my holidays with her than in that hellhole since they don't allow me to stay with her. The other people who have been treating me like their own child with love are Lando's parents , Lando and I had been friends since the 6th grade in primary.

I was in Ferndale , in Minenhle's flat okay well my mother as per say. I really find it weird how she is acting like she cares and everything.

Me : "Uhh ma...sis Minenhle?"  I seriously don't know what to call her cause I can really count on maybe both hands the couple of times I've spent time with her and I've never really had to ask anything from her , she's the one who usually calls for me and I respond with a 'Yebo'.

Her : "Aibo! I'm not your sister but your mom Lisakhanya."  She says smiling at me and takes my hand into hers as we walk to the lounge. She sits on one of the couches and makes me sit beside her then she turns to me.

Her : "I am deeply sorry for ever not being your mother. I am sorry that my reckless-ness made you doubt your place in my life and heart. I know I've been the worst mother ever and I am sorry baby. Me being here was to make amends and peace with my daughters and maybe get to let you guys meet. I am ashamed of myself , really , I know my apologies can never erase the past nor take us back to the past for me to right all my wrongs but I am hoping and praying that you could let me try making up for lost time , let me be a better woman amd mother. I have done so many mistakes and some of those mistakes I regret but some I am grateful. What I will tell is that even though I regret my affair with your father but I don't regret having you although I wish I raised you."

Me : "Maybe you should've just gotten rid of me cause what's the use of being in this world only to suffer. Suffer right in my parents eyes , suffer for the doings of someone who doesn't give a rat ass about me although she carried me? Mmh? I live a life of an orphan mina maybe even orphans are better than me. I am being abused 24/7 because of YOU! That woman always makes sure to try and break me just because of your affair with my father. It's such a shame and pity that both my parents are alive but I live like a streetkid. Yazi ubaba wami loyo doesn't buy me any clothes anymore because his wife doesn't like that , the only new clothes I ever get is if my grandmother sews for me or if my best friend's mother or sisters take me shopping together with their daughter. They are also the only people who have loved me and shown what love is. Sometimes I even wish you had a miscarriage and lost me cause I don't think I like being here or alive. I hate you and dad for breaking me like this , I really do."   She is weeping and I'm not crying but the tears are pouring with each word and my heart is aching and in anguish.

Her : "I am really sorry baby. The blame should be on me. I should've never trusted your father with you. I now really believe in the saying 'no mother should be without their child' if I listened to my late husband and heart we wouldn't be here. I am seriously ashamed of myself , I don't deserve the title of being called a mother. I sincerely apologize ntombi kaMama. I promise to do better and be the good mother to you and your siblings. Please forgive me mntanami." 

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I know it's short , please bare with me😭

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Loads of love from me❤

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