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Chapter 11.

BEHOLDER.
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CHAPTER 11.
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NOKWANDA.

*Sexual content.*
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A million thoughts were running through my head at this moment and all of them were telling me what a bad idea this was and how doing this was about to complicate everything between me and Jason. I wasn't even sure what I felt for him but here I was completely lost in his touch and even these doubts couldn't pull me out of it. I wanted him. I wanted this with him. I watched as his kisses travelled down my stomach. Every touch his lips would plant on my skin would leave a butterfly. My stomach wasn't my own anymore. I was a gone girl.

He kissed the inside of my thighs before his lips latched on my love bud letting a gasp escape my lips. I bit on my lips as my breath increased because of what he was doing to me. I found my hands grabbing his head as he sucked and whatever else he was doing to me. "Fuck!" I moaned out as pleasure seemed to man even my room spin. Every doubt seemed to jump out of this building and I was left with nothing but assurance that he is the right guy.

He continued sending my emotions to an overdrive to a point I felt tears fill my eyes. Why was this feeling so good? He hasn't even entered me but I was already in tears. I felt this feeling rush up to my stomach and here I was breathing like I was running out of air as my orgasm hit me. I laid still for a moment as I tried to get off my high but that was short lived because his lips was back on my lips and our kiss grew intense. "You got protection?" He asked and I nodded and showed him my bed side drawer. I knew I had a closed pack of some condoms.

"Mmm." He took the condom and opened it with his teeth and I laid here with so many thoughts and feeling running through me. "Wanna put it on me?" He smirked whilst biting on his bottom lip.

"You're right I don't trust you. You might get me pregnant." I flirted and grabbed the open condom. I looked down and I froze for a moment cause there is no way this white guy has such a big dick. I thought white people were supposed to small. "This you?" I asked which made him laugh so hard. "Nokwanda just put on the condom before the moon disappears. We can't have changing your mind." He winked grabbing on his crotch and he groaned like he could already picture me doing whatever with it.

I wasn't a damn virgin and I knew a thing or two about sex so I wasn't going to let him think he is fuckin with an amateur. I grabbed on his crotch and he gave me this satisfied smile. I decided to flip us around and he now was lying on his back as I took all of him in mouth making groan and grunt.

I began bopping my head fast making sure I wasn't hurting him. "Shit slow down baby." I don't have to listen to him. "Fuck Kwah." He grunted like he was trying to hold himself from cumming too early but I wanted to make him cum early. I loved seeing him so powerless and completely under my control.  He grabbed me by hair moving me from him and I was about to complain about my scalp when he kissed me roughly making even my scalp pain to disappear. "And here I thought I was about to make love to you but you're just trying to get fucked." He licked on my lips and I was gone. I needed him inside of me right now before my senses came back.

He pushed me down and took the condom and placed it on his dick. He got on top of me spreading my legs apart before he got on top of me. "What if I want you to make love to me?" I asked staring deep into his eyes swallowing a lump. His answer was lips feverently on mine. He enterwined his hands with mine both of them before he moved his kisses to my neck. "I want to make love to you Nokwanda." He whispered in my ear. "Over and over again." He bit on my ear as he pushed in me causing me erratic breathing. He kept going in and out slowly. He looked at me before we began kissing each other with so much passion. For a moment I was convinced we both felt something strong for each other but than again that was just sex. It has a way of making you think one actually loves you believe me I know.
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Next morning I woke up to find myself all by myself in this room, Jason was nowhere to be found. He must have an early morning just like me. I decided to wake up. I allowed the flashbacks to hit me as I thought of how he held me like I meant the world to him. How he had me feeling like he actually loved me.

I wrapped a towel around my body as I stood infront of this huge mirror I had in here. I could hear him whisper every word he said in my ear. I could feel his touch. I found myself biting on my lips as I realised what I had done. I had sex with another man except Vusi and it felt amazing and way better than anything I have ever experienced.

"Shit." I sighed looking at my reflection. I took this huge breath as I stared at the girl who was clearly confused. I mean she thinks she's inlove with Vusi but than Jason makes her feel all these things that she couldn't understand and to make things worse she had sex with Jason and it was amazing so she now didn't know what this meant.

*I don't know how many times must we talk about the Vusi situation. He left you for Sibahle whilst Jason left his girlfriend. Two different people!*

This was definitely my conscious point of view because there was no way it was mind or heart those two were team Vusi and they believe in our relationship and that we were still going to fix things.

I decided to go and just take a breath if I didn't want to be late. I noticed on my way to the bathroom that Austin and Thami were still here and these two clearly are smitten with each other at the way they were lost in each other's eyes. They didn't see me till I disappeared to the bathroom. I walked in the shower only to find Jason in here. "Geez!" I said touching my heart but he just laughed and pulled me to his chest.

"I thought you left." I said wrapping my arms around his neck. "I was going to write at least a note." He moved my hair away from my face. "Uhm about last night." I started. We needed to get it out there that this was a mistake. We both got caught up in the moment and did things we shouldn't have done.

"Last night was amazing. I want more of last night." He smiled before he pecked my lips. "Jason." I was about to break his heart. I wasn't ready for no relationship. Was he going to be okay with sharing me with Vusi because still did love him. I couldn't do that to him. I needed to first heal and maybe than I can think of another relationship.

"Before you say no Kwah, let me take you on a proper date than decide then if I am not the guy you want." His tone was begging me,I guess he could tell by my face how I was about to crush his dreams. I didn't want a relationship with him. He is everything that I said I was never going to find myself in. He's white and he is Afrikaner. Everything that I don't want.

"Jason please listen to me." I touched his face. "Okay but before I listen to you please don't deprive yourself a chance of having something healthy because of what has happened in your past. I am not him and it is okay to be scared Kwah,let me be scared with you or scared for you."

"We're just too different." He squinted his eyes in confusion. "Different how. Your personality and mine is the same. You're basically the male version of me." He chuckled but I didn't laugh or smile and that's how he saw I was being serious

I took his hand and mine and pointed with my eyes for him to look at them. "That how different you and I are." He chuckled in disbelief. "Then step into my world Nokwanda and allow me to step into yours." He began caressing my face as he closed the distance between us. Thank God I still had my towel on since he is completely naked.

"We can't even start with friends?" I asked which made him giggle as he pulled my face to his. "Friends don't do what we are doing right now." He undid my towel allowing it to fall on our feet. "Be my girlfriend Kwah,you won't regret it." He spoke against my lips. I am pretty sure you guys already knew I was going to say because of how he has me in his arms. I mean obviously he cheated because he should have asked me when we weren't so close to each other.

"Fine." Yes my hormones answered for me cause the sane me wouldn't have said that. The sane me was the one that was trying to tell him that this was a mistake.

"You won't regret it Sexy." He captured my lips into his and in that moment I did kind of believe him but I wondered if he was the one that was going to regret ever asking me to be his girlfriend.
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