Beholder

Chapter 34

Chapter 34.
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Nokwanda.
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I just had the longest day of my life and I just hope Jason was not about to make it longer. I just needed him to make sure my parents do not find out he is a married man and just pay the damages and also to make sure he doesn't agree to whatever sort of marriage proposal my family try to trick him into.

"You want anything to drink?" I asked with him following me to the kitchen. "Uhm sure some juice would be nice." He sounded nervous and I just wondered for what. Surely he does not think I am still mad at him. I have accepted his apology. I walked over to my fridge and took out a jug of juice that I had made earlier on today. He walked over to the cabinet where I keep the glasses and took two glasses before rinsing them on the sink.

"I am hoping that you're not here to kill me." He chuckled nervously as he made his way towards me but I returned his giggle. I would never try to kill him or hurt him by I wish I could say the same for him. "Why would I kill you Jason?" I was making sure that my eyes didn't stay on his for long or there won't be any sort of talks between us. He handed me the glasses. I did give him a glance when I placed my hands on the glasses. "I did act stupid earlier on so i don't know whether I should be relaxing in your presence or scared." He still did sound nervous and that's when my eyes fell on his brown eyes. He looked so innocent by yet so inviting. This man was just plain beautiful.

"You really do not know me." I moved my eyes to the jug and just placed the glasses on the counter. "Well I would like to think I actually do know you."

I did this yeah right giggle before handing him his glass. "Jason I also do not know you that well so I guess it is fair you chose Emma over me." He choked on his juice when I said that but this time my eyes stayed on his.

"Anyways that's not what I called you over for." I took a sip of my juice, my eyes never dared to move from him. He was shifting nervously like I was making him uncomfortable but why would he be uncomfortable when he was the one who created this situation.

"My parents said you can pay for the damages but they want your parents involved in all of this." He nodded to what I just said. "Also please refrain from wearing your wedding ring or having your wife show her face in my house because if they find out that you're married than it is done for with me. They will disown me and they also will try to get you to take me as your wife and since we know you're already married please tell them you do not wish to marry me." I hope he got everything I just said to him but the way he's looking at me,it seems like I just talked to myself.

"But I do wish to marry you."

I was the one who choked on her own saliva this time when he said that but I knew I couldn't do that to myself. I couldn't let him get me all up on my feelings.

"Well that's funny cause you're married as we speak." I carried on drinking my juice but this man decided out of all the things he could have done. He decided to walk over to me. "I'm sorry." He stood so dangerously close to me making my breath hitch. I looked up to him which was a bad move because of how close he was to me.

"I am drawn to you Kwah. I have always been drawn to you from the first day I saw you back at Gateway mall. You just won't leave my mind and my heart." I quickly shook my head because this was not acceptable. This was not what I needed from him.

"Jason you can't do this." My voice came out as a whisper. "I know but I can't help myself. I can't stop myself."

"I am not a second option Jason. I wanted to be your first. I still want to be your first." Yes just like that my tears came knocking on my eyelids and those feelings that I had been able to push back were slowly crawling back to me. I wanted to not feel this pathetic where he was concerned. I wanted to feel loved like I did for the time he was with me. I wanted to feel good enough for him like I did whenever he would make love to me.