Beholder

Chapter 31

BEHOLDER.
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CHAPTER 31.
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OMNISCIENT
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Nokwanda laid in her bed with so many thoughts swirling in her head, her heart was broken because she never thought she would find herself back here so soon. Dealing with yet another heartbreak. She even found herself thinking how it was way better when it was Vusi who had broken her heart. She felt like Jason was a whole different story. He did not only break her heart but he left her pregnant and was now busy playing with her feelings. Doing things to her that he shouldn't be doing. Saying things he should only be saying to his wife to her. He was making this whole break up even harder.

She held on tighter to the ultrasound scan that they had got from the doctor from earlier today. She smiled when she imagined Jason's eyes. The way they sparkled in that room the minute their baby's heartbeat filled their ears. He looked genuinely happy. This was just confirmation to Nokwanda that indeed Jason came back for his baby and nothing else. Had she not fallen pregnant he never would have came back. He clearly was not inlove with her as she thought.

Her mind kept on whispering about how she was not the one Jason wanted and she believed it. She took this huge breath as she held the picture close to her heart. Her heart swelled up with many emotions. Happiness was one of those emotions but sadness was the winning emotion. She hadn't tasted happiness for a while now. It has been one sad thing from another with her and she felt like this sad era from her was making her weaker by day.

"Do you hate me that much?" Her eyes moved up to her ceiling. She wondered how could God hate her this much? Why couldn't he just let her enjoy a full moment of happiness? Why everytime she thought she was genuinely happy than God comes and just ruins it and makes sure he replaces that happiness with more pain. Her heart felt empty like every sort of emotion that human beings should feel was slowly getting turned off. Her current situation was slowly making her move further away from God. She felt like he wasn't being fair on her and was constantly signing her up for strongest soldier each and every year and she was not a soldier, she just wanted God to once hold her in his arms and give her a soft hug assuring her that this time He was letting her be in peace. She also just wanted to be happy. Genuinely happy.

A knock snapped her out of her thoughts. She took this huge breath and decided to fix her face up quickly because she knew that was one of her friends, Zoe. She was tired of always looking miserable to them so she was trying to show them that this tine she was handling this whole situation with Jason better than they were giving her credit for even though she knew that was a lie but she needed to stop burdening her friends with all these hurt feelings she brought unto herself. She was hurt and more broken than the last time this happened to her.

She placed the ultrasound scan on her coffee table before she rushed to her door and she quickly opened up with a huge smile but when she saw who was at the door she tried to close the door fast but it was too late, this person pushed it wide open and fear traveled to her whole body and Vusi seemed to smell it or perhaps her eyes gave her away.

"I have been trying to talk to you but you're busy acting stupid with me." He sucked on his teeth,his eyes traveled her whole body,she had on some booty shorts and an oversized tshirt,she was dressed for the bed. He growled as he took her in causing more fear for Nokwanda. She just couldn't understand how the security allowed him in here. She specifically told them to not let this man in.

"Vusi?" She breathed,her chest heaving up as she took a few steps back which Vusi found amusing. He entered her place completely and pushed the door closed.

"Please don't tell me you fucked some white dude and suddenly became scared of me." He chuckled as he read her body language which oozed off fear, he sucked on his teeth before he clenched his jaw. In his head all that was swirling in his head was that he needed to make Nokwanda see the light. He was her soul mate not that transparent dude she was messing with. "I uh I am not scared of you." She lied,her heart was thumping,her mind was telling her to run to her bedroom and lock herself up and call for help.