Beholder

Chapter 40.

BEHOLDER.
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CHAPTER 40.
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NOKWANDA.
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Why do I feel like I just murdered someone and buried them without anybody's knowledge and now guilt was eating away at me and I couldn't tell anybody because I was afraid I could actually go to jail. I am literally always on the edge when my phone rings. It is like somebody can tell that I am cheating on my boyfriend with my baby daddy.

I wanted to stop it at some point and I wanted to let him go but I just couldn't, every single time I would call him up and go like "Jason we should stop this." He would ask for us to meet and give me more reasons as to why we shouldn't stop this. The guilt does eat away at me and I wanted to offload to my friends about what has been going on for the past month but I knew they were going to breathe fire over me so I held back and just kept having sex with Jason like it was nobody's business and I hated how I loved every minute of being in his arms and I did want to hate myself for being so selfish but I couldn't. This is what I wanted. He is what I want and God knows I wish I had strength to tell Sandile this.

"You sleep out a lot recently, does Sandile give it to you that good?" That was my aunt walking in my room. I was just finishing with my hair as I prepared to go over to Jason's hotel room. I couldn't risk anybody knowing about what me and him were doing until I was sure he wanted to be with me for real this time.

"Aunty." I scoffed,she was still pretty much my mum, no matter how young she may be but I couldn't really discuss sex with her. Purely out of respect for her.

"What? You literally live with him now." She crossed her arms still staring at me but I decided to walk over to my overnight bag. "I am taking Cebo with me tonight." She just gave me a shocked look.

"Haibo Nokwanda,are things that serious between you two?" She rose an eyebrow.

"They are aunty and I really need to go. My uber should be arriving anytime soon." I made my way out of my bedroom and she followed after me asking a series of questions.

"I mean I get it, you're his girlfriend and all but Jason will not be pleased about you spending a night with Cebo over there."

"Aunty I am a grown ass woman. Jason is not my dictator." I was pretty good at acting like it wasn't Jason I was going to but hell I had no other choice but to try and defend the little bit of self respect I still had.

"He paid for him, he is his,you cannot do as you please when it comes to his son." At this point I kind of feel like she doesn't want me to take Cebo with me cause why she bringing Jason into this.

"So, he lives with me. I take care of him most of the time whilst he gallivants with his wife. I let him take him with his wife so why can't I also take my son to my boyfriend. I also want him to have a good relationship with Sandile."

Okay somebody please give me an Oscar cause hell freaking yes I am one good actress, no hollywood actress has anything on me.

"I am not fighting with you but I need to tell you that this is not a good idea." She was polite this time which made me look at her. "Why?"

"Kwanda you're not just taking somebody's son to another man but you yourself are also somebody's customary wife and yo-." She said but quickly stopped herself as she realized what she just said.

"Excuse me?" I asked looking at her face that was filled with shock like she shouldn't have said what she just said.

"I am who's what?" I asked, I needed her to clear her last sentence. Who's customary wife am I?
Jason hasn't paid any lobola for me neither has Sandile so what is she talking about.

"Uhm that came out wrong. I meant with Jason as Cebo's father it is not a good look for you to be gallivanting at night with his son since he paid damages and cleansed our family's house for getting you pregnant." She explained with a straight face, like she never for once even gulped or looked hesitant.