Beholder

Chapter 6

I was nervous at the fact that Jason said he'll be coming to see me tonight so I came up with a brilliant plan. I'll fake being asleep when he gets here, in that way I won't have to feel awkward in my own place.

Right now I had just finished making myself some dinner which consisted of some fried chips,beef Burger and an orange juice. I was in the mood to cook curry but than I didn't want Jason to think I went all out for him so that's why I kept it simple. I don't know why I just said that like I am even going to open up for him because I will not.

I had my food in my hands as I made my way to the lounge to watch a movie while I enjoyed my burger and chips. The moment I took a seat on my couch to relax, boom the knock went off causing my heart to skip a beat or maybe two beats, I almost dropped my food.

I took this huge breath as I placed my food on my coffee table before I took another huge breath. Yes I was breathing as huge as I could right now. I was simply trying to convince myself that I didn't need to open the door but my heart and mind were in cahoot and they refused to listen to reason. My heart kept begging me to get my ass off the couch and go and open up for Jason but deep down I knew letting him in here might get me naked and moaning in Afrikaans.
What am I even saying? We are sticking to ignoring the knock plan. Yep that's exactly what we are about to do.

Note to self: You are still healing,adding a man in your life would just complicate things even more. Just take all the time you need to heal.

Yep,my mind is never wrong when it comes to such things.

My thoughts were disturbed by the knocking that continued and man this was one persistent guy.

"Kwanda open up,it's me baby." I stood up in a haste when I heard that voice. What the hell was he doing here. I quickly walked to the door. I was about to tell him off for even having the nerve to knock on my door at this time of the night and for calling me baby when he has made it perfectly clear how much of a reject I am to him. He chose Sbahle over me and even had the nerve to be the one to hand me their wedding invitation card and made it seem like me and him were never anything to each other.

I pulled the door open so fast about to go off on him but that never happened because the first thing this idiot did was kiss me pushing me back inside the house and my dumb feelings came rushing back,forgetting what this man has done to us. He broke my heart and showed no remorse for it.

"Vusi,stop!" I pushed him off and quickly moved from him. This had to be the first time ever have I ever been able to resist him. "Come on Kwanda,why you're acting like you don't want this." He licked on his lips before a smirk spread all over his face and I was left questioning everything about myself by that little action from him. Was this all I ever was to him? His booty call? Did he ever have any sort of feelings for me?

What am I even saying? There's no way a guy that loved you would do this to you. No way a guy that once loved you would even invite you to his wedding and not only that but also make you a matron of honor in his wedding. Why couldn't he see I was hurting? Why couldn't he understand the impact of his actions on my emotional state.

"You need to leave." My tears fell down but I wiped them away quickly. I was tired of constantly crying because of him. I was tired of this ache in my heart because of him.

"What?" He was clearly take aback by what I just said. "Since when do we not fuck when we see each other?" He asked like he was bewildered by my words but more knifes kept poking my heart as I thought is this how I have been presenting myself as to this guy. Some cheap girl he can always fuck whenever he wanted. I thought him and I had something special.

"Vusumuzi please leave." I wiped more of my tears and just walked over to my door and pulled it open only for my eyes to meet Jason's. He was about to knock. He wore a smile on his face but the moment he took in my composure, his smile fell.