Beholder

Chapter 28

BEHOLDER.
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CHAPTER 28.
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NOKWANDA.
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I was hosting my friends for dinner, I wanted to show my appreciation for their support since I knew that I was not going to pay for no vacation for them so why not dinner. I told them they could bring their plus ones, the more the merrier right. I also wanted to meet Zoe's new man that she apparently found on Tinder even though I totally hate these online dating apps but I'm not one to judge my friends cause hell I was more of a mess than them.

Phiwe got here early to help me out and my friend was the queen of making food look presentable. The whole set up she just did here with my salads and food impressed me to a point that I took plenty of pictures of the presentation.

"So since I don't have a whole dinner table, everybody is going to dish for themselves and I hope they don't mess up my carpet with the curries." I crossed my fingers with this excited look on my face. I had even gotten my friends gifts to thank them for everything. They have been so much help to me for the past few months and friends like these don't exist no more so yes I am grateful and I will make sure to show my gratitude to them tonight. "Have you talked to Jason?" Geez,why would Phiwe ruin my day like this, just as it was about to end? And no I hadn't talked to Jason since 3 days ago when I was insistence on my baby not being his. I lied and said it was Vusi's and he left clearly upset by my confession. I haven't heard from him since then. I guess he crawled back into the hole he came back from.

"Phiwe don't do that." I sighed,grabbing a dishcloth so I can wipe my wet hands that I had just washed. "You can't do that Nokwanda. Keep him from his child just because he broke your heart. We both know it is not fair not only on him even on the baby and I feel like you should tell him the truth before he really believes the baby is really not his." Phiwe just wouldn't stop. What part of 'don't do that.' Doesn't she get. I just want a day, just a simple day of not thinking about Jason because that's all I have been doing for months. I have been practically breathing Jason. My mind is his home and all I wanted is just kick him out of my mind even if it is only for a few hours but clearly Phiwe doesn't think I deserve that liberty.

"Phiwe I am going to change. Can you check on the dessert for me?" I didn't even wait for her to say anything back,I made my way to my bedroom where I decided on wearing comfortable clothing which consisted of sweat pants and an oversized tshirt and some slides. I sat on my bed as I took my phone and scrolled to Jason's number. I took this huge breath, my eyes stayed glued on my phone screen. A part of me wanted to phone him and just tell him the truth about the baby but another part told me that he didn't deserve that part of me. He didn't deserve my baby.

I took this huge breath as I slumped down on my bed and just stared at the roof with my heart slowly beating. I found myself wondering if my heart hated Jason or did it want him back? How did it feel about him or was it waiting for him to return it back to me. Was he the reason for it to even continue beating everyday?
*Poetic much?* Ugh whatever. I quickly sat up and just decided on scrolling through my messages on my phone and yes mum was still on her cursing me out streak and dad had disowned me and Vusi stayed threatening me and Jason. If only he knew Jason was now a married man and not to me.

I decided to answer my aunt who was at least genuinely concerned about my well being. I heard a knock on my door and soon Thami peaked her head. "We're all here except for the host." She giggled and that's when I also did a giggle as well. I stood up and walked over to her. We engaged in a tight hug before we made our way to the lounge where my friends were all here but there was also faces I didn't invite and when my eyes fell on their tangled hands I gulped down my saliva so that I can push my tears back. I had never seen this woman before.

I looked at Thami but she also looked shocked like she didn't know he was here with his wife. "Uhm I didn't know he was coming K." She whispered holding on to my hand tightly. I took another gulp and just held on to her hand. "It's not your fault but I will kill your boyfriend when all of this is over." I said through gritted teeth since I was fake smiling since the whole room went silent the moment I took in the lovely couple and man they looked good together and Jason is only allowed to look this good with only me.