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AN HOUR LATER


We were just casually speaking, it was loudish in the bar, it was more of a club I suppose, but I enjoyed the vibe here.

I swirled my Cognac in my glass, drinking the rest of it and hinting to the bartender that I'd like a refill.

"You not bothering Eunseo today?" Joohyuk asked, taking a sip of his liquor.

"Nah, she ran off on me, I have no idea where went." I shook my head followed by a sigh of defeat. I took a sip of my glass once again at the mention of her.

"What's the deal with you and her anyways? You're chasing her alot." Joohyuk innocently inquired, staring attentively at me for an answer.

I took another sip of my liquor, turning my head to face him as he blinked blankly.

"You wanna know the truth Joohyuk?" I gave a sigh, I didn't think I'd admit this to Joohyuk before Eunseo, but here I was, "I love her."

Joohyuk almost spat his drink out, staring at me in bewilderment. He gave a laugh in disbelief, just staring at me with eyes wider than the world.

"You love her? That's a big word Sunghoon, you've only known her for what - a few weeks?" Joohyuk shook his head, still in sheer disbelief at my words.

I gave a few chuckles.

"A few weeks? Joohyuk, she was my childhood best friend for years, that girl is my first love." I told him bitterly, I didn't appreciate how tone deaf he was sounding right now.

He calmed down, looking at me seriously.

"Really?" His voice was calmer, less of the sarcasm and humour.

I nodded my head.

"I fucked up though, so she hates me." I gave a bitter, small laugh, giving an exasperated exhale as Joohyuk stared at me.

"How come?" Joohyuk had never heard anything about my personal life before, so this was an interesting matter to him.

"I lied to her that I was going to be in the same college as her, we made plans for the summer vacation, and on the last day of school, I disappeared for a few years." I briefly summarised the story for him, and he just raised his brows.

"Damn, you fucked up.." Joohyuk honestly replied, and I understood his reaction, because I know I fucked up too.

"Yeah, I've been trying to chase her back like crazy, but I don't know - she doesn't seem to budge." I swirled my glass around, looking up at the ceiling for a second, "And her mother hates me too, I don't have a clue what to do."

Joohyuk shook his head, clinking his glass with mine as we both chugged the liquid down.

"I say you just give up." Joohyuk suddenly said, and I shot my head to look at him, my eyes lightly furrowing at his suggestion.

"Give up? Joohyuk, she's the girl I want." I scoffed, I never thought I'd hear words like these before, and I never thought I'd say words like these out loud too.

Joohyuk simply gave a sigh, staring at me with sparkling eyes. He had a look of condolence on his face, and he was going to say something that I was for sure, not going to like.

"I get that, but you fucked up big time, she's probably losing her mind because of you. Just think if that happened to you." Joohyuk gave another sigh, "And if she's not budging although you're trying the best a man can do, what more can you do but give up?"

I stared at my glass of liquor being filled up again, I knew he was right in a way, but I didn't want to admit it. I didn't want to hear that I wasn't going to end up with Eunseo.

If I knew the world would turn out like this, I would've confessed to Eunseo years ago, back when we were fifteen, sixteen. And who knows, maybe we would've still been happy and together in this timeframe.

I downed the next glass of Cognac, the honey-like bitter liquid running down my throat. I clenched both of my fists at the thought of giving up on her.

"I don't want to." I insisted, just staring at Joohyuk fiercely.

"You're gonna hurt your own self, what will you do when she gets a boyfriend?" Joohyuk chuckled before speaking, "Kill him?"

I glared at him, and the smile on his face hurriedly diminished, he looked down. I grasped my glass tightly, feeling irritated and frustrated over this conversation.

I wanted to ease my mind by coming here - but turns out - instead of easing my mind, I just felt even worse.

I get it was my fault for hurting her, but there's no way I can let go when she's reappeared in my life like this.

"I'm heading home, call for a driver." I grabbed my wallet, slapping a good few hundred bills on the high table.

Joohyuk watched me walk off, he wouldn't be able to stop me from leaving even if he tried.


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