Rise From The Ashes (EDITING IN PROGRESS)

Chapter 4

Days have turned into months and although nothing much has changed for me, I have managed to cross a few things off the list Dr. Carson has given me. For starters Aria and I went to the Staten Island Zoo, visited the Statue Of Liberty and a few others places Zaren loved.

What made it hard to visit those places was me returning back without him. It felt like a piece of me was missing. Like I was empty and void of any emotions and it sent me running back to Dr. Carson each time. I hated it. It made me feel weak and vulnerable, not that I'm anything but that.

Regardless of how it makes me feel, Dr. Carson believes it's necessary in order for me to heal properly.

Who knew healing hurt so much.

Dr. Carson and Ari believe I'm making great progress, though I feel like we're back at square one.

I thought I would be ready to conquer these tasks but I guess I was wrong. It feels as if it's sending me in another downward spiral and if it wasn't for Jack and Aria and all though she doesn't know it, Lenaya who also plays a big factor in helping me pull through, I would be locked away in my room, confined between the four walls and my sanity.

Zevander and Lenaya have become regulars at the diner as they now come every Saturday before closing time. I see great progress when it comes to Zevander and I. I can now hold a simple conversation with him and when his arm accidentally brushes against mine, my heart doesn't race out in fear.

Saturday's have become my new favorite day of the week and I think I know why. Whenever Lenaya visits, I always leave with a smile... a genuine smile.

About a month or so ago Zevander surprised me by asking me out. I of course turned him down. The fear I felt when I thought of us two being alone together almost gave me another panic attack.

I felt horrible for saying no of course, but doing so wouldn't do any good for me.

"Jack. I'm heading out to meet Ari for lunch. Do you need me to get anything on my way back?" I call out, slipping on my jacket.

Aria asked to meet at the park for lunch today, shes been complaining about work getting in the way and us not spending as much time together as we usually would. I couldn't agree more with her and I think it would do us both some good for us to catch up.

Shaking his head he smiles before responding. "I'm fine, buttercup. Just be sure to enjoy yourself and hey... smile a little more. More people need to see that beautiful smile of yours."

A smile appears on my face as I look towards Jacks direction.

"If it gets to hard for you to handle call me and I'll come running."

"Sure, sure because I can't handle my own diner." He rolls his eyes, playfully."

I giggle and say goodbye to him and make my way outside. Pulling my phone from my back pocket I send a text to Ari.

Braxlyn: Just left the diner with the food.  What park are we meeting at?

ARI: The usual spot in Central Park...

My legs stop moving as I re-read the message three more times. I haven't been to Central Park in over two years. Central Park is the park Zaren and I would visit frequently. That was our go to place and it holds a lot of sentimental value to me.

Rather we went to the playground or went to the bridge and talked, Zaren loved Central Park as do I.

What the hell is Aria thinking? I can't do this.