Rise From The Ashes (EDITING IN PROGRESS)

Chapter 16

A month has passed and much to my surprise, Lenaya and Zevander still come to the diner every Saturday night, although Zevander continues to ignore me, I still go out and talk to Lenaya when she asks for me, and that alone is enough to brighten up any day I may have.

After laying hopelessly in bed, tossing and turning for a few hours, I see the sun begin to rise.

It was another sleepless night as the cold crystal blue eyes haunted my dreams. Shaking off the thought, I lazily climb out bed and begin rearranging my room in hopes of a distraction.

I mind drifts back to the time when Zaren died. Aria let go of her apartment and moved in with me. Her reason being; I shouldn't be alone and she was right. That was the darkest moment of my life and I don't think being alone in a time like that, confined to my home that surrounded me of memories of Zaren would of been good for my mental health, not that I could remember much the first year.

After his death I closed Zaren's bedroom door and covered it with a bookcase. Sealing it shut from anyone ever getting in. It helped conceal what was hidden behind the door from me, almost allowing me to forget it was ever there, but the emptiness that grew in my heart blinded me with so much grief I could hardly function properly. I became this empty shell of a person. Aria not liking seeing me like this, brought me to see Dr. Carson.

Dr. Carson allowed me the time I needed to heal and after a year or so, he thought it would be an excellent idea to go a step further and move into Zaren's room. It was hard at first, as the guilt seeped through me, but I knew deep down it was necessary. Though it didn't stop a small part of me from feeling as if I was trying to forget about him, regardless if I knew I could never forget him.

After a few weeks I pushed the fear down and forced myself to think happy thoughts and it seemed to work. Moving into Zaren's room helped me feel closer to him, allowing me a little more closure.

I turn to the bookshelf that has Zaren's favorite things and run my fingers over his favorite stuffed giraffe he won at a carnival when he was two years old. I of coursed helped him win it.

He would carry it with him everywhere we went. You would never see him without it even as he got older. Aria and I would laugh at the excited little five year old boy who always stated that his giraffe was as tall as the clouds. He would say, "Look, mommy, I can see heaven. "One day I will visit and tell you how beautiful it is there."

He didn't visit, though. He left and never came home.

I walk over to the other bookshelf and run my fingers on the spine of one particular book and pull it out of the same spot it's been in for the past ten years. Without reading the title of the book I flip it over and open the book of,  "Green Eggs And Ham. "

Ive read this book nearly every night for 10 years. As Zaren got older he stopped asking me to read it to him, claiming he was to old for a bedtime story. I would pretend not to hear him reading it every night before he went to sleep.

Knowing my next task, I throw on a pair of sweatpants and matching long sleeve, loose fitted crop top sweater and pair it with grey and white running shoes, before running to the bathroom to finish getting ready.

I know what needs to be done. I need to complete the next task Dr. Carson has asked me to do. I think I'm ready.

Slowly and quietly I make my way downstairs and stop by the kitchen to make me a cup of coffee.

As I enter the kitchen Aria is already sitting at the kitchen island with a steaming cup of fresh coffee. Upon hearing me enter, she looks up with a smile,  handing me my cup filled to the brim.