Rise From The Ashes (EDITING IN PROGRESS)

Chapter 19

I ignore the way my heart flutters at the cute little nickname he's given me and shove the letter into his hands. "I can't, Zevander. That letter is private as should stay between you and your wife."

"I need you to understand why I never moved on and the only way for you to really understand why, is to read what Aliana wrote in this letter. Now please..." He hands me the letter. "Just read it."

He's practically begging me to read the letter his late wife wrote him and as much as I don't want too, I won't be able to say no, especially when he's being so open and honest with me. It's almost as if he needs me to understand.

Nodding my head I slightly pull away and observe the single piece of white notebook paper. The letter looks to be worn out, but otherwise in good shape. I lean back just enough to have room to read the paper that's separates Zevander and I.

            
My dearest husband,

If you are reading this it means I didn't make it. I never had the courage to tell you this pregnancy would cause complications that would lead to my death. You can say I was a bit selfish, however I couldn't tell you from fear that you would make me terminate the pregnancy. Although I am no longer with you, you will have a piece of me through our daughter. I hope she looks like me, so you would forever be reminded of me; her mother, as I sacrificed my life for hers. I know you probably have questions but I did what I thought was best. Please forgive me for what I'm about to confess as it is the truth and you deserve the truth no matter how much it pains me. Im so sorry you have to find out this way, but there is a chance our beautiful baby girl may not be yours. You see, before we got married I was in a relationship with someone who shared my soul. His name is Isaac and I have always loved him, I'm sorry for disregarding our vows when I know how much they meant to you. I am ashamed by my actions, but I continued to be with him throughout our marriage. The truth is I never got the help you begged of me, no, instead I spent my time with Isaac. I am so very sorry, Zevander. I am sorry for hurting you when all you ever did was love me, which also brings me to my next two request. The first being, no matter what the test results may be, I ask that you keep my baby... our baby. Isaac is unstable and unfit to keep her. My last and final request is more of a plea. Will you wait for me? I know it's a bit selfish of me considering the circumstances, but you must know I loved you. I beg of you, Zevander. Please fulfill the last dying wish of your dear wife and wait to be reunited with me. Show our daughter how strong our love is.

 
With much love and sorrow, your loving wife, Aliana.

Anger courses through me, setting deep in my bones. How dare she ask this of him. She didn't want him to move on and after everything she made it clear. What kind of person was she? How could she do this to Zevander? How could she ask him to put his life on hold for her own selfish reasons? What kind of sick twisted person was she. She didn't want him to move on. Did she not think that maybe Lenaya would need a mother figure in her life.

My heart hurts for Zevander and Lenaya. They don't deserve this. Wiping the salty tears from rolling down my face, I fold the letter and practically shove it back in Zevander hand before I do something I regret and shred it to pieces.

I inhale deeply, allowing the sound of the grandfather clock hanging on the wall to soothe my raging mind. As much as I want to be angry, I know I have no right. If Zevander chooses to fulfill her wish then I must respect it. It will hurt, but as long as I have him in my life as a friend, then I'll be fine.

"You know if you weren't... aren't ready all you had to do is tell me. I would of understood, Zev. We've created a good friendship, a friendship that most don't find. The truth is I never asked to be in a relationship with you. Yes it would of been nice to see where it went, but all I ever wanted... want is your friendship, Zevander." I answer him truthfully.