Rise From The Ashes (EDITING IN PROGRESS)

Chapter 10

As I sit in my room getting my makeup done by my best friend I can't help but wonder. If I had grown up in a home filled with love and laughter would my mother have helped me to get ready for my first date. I'd like to think so. Maybe if I had things would have been different. Maybe my life would have took a different path.

I'm not blaming my parents for my life choices. No. I believe a person makes their own choices and decisions. The choices you make when you are young sets a motion in your life as it leads to a certain road and eventually that road leads to another and another, binding them together.

However I also believe that your parents mold you into the person you become. Growing up we watch our parents. Following in their footsteps, repeating their actions. Learning from their ways. They plant a seed inside us and with that seed it grows everyday until it molds us into this certain person.

I didn't grow up in a loving home. I came home to a absent father who loved work more then me and a alcoholic mother who loved to abuse me. Regardless I didn't let my parents choices mold me into this terrible person as they were. I didn't allow that seed to grow inside me.

The moment I found out I was pregnant with Zaren, I knew I would never become my parents. I was going to be there for my son. I was going to love him and be the best parent I could. I was never going to become a absent parent like my father or an abusive mother like my mother. I broke that cycle. So why didn't my life get better?

Unlike my parents, I know I'm a good person but my troubled life says otherwise. Maybe the seed my parents planted did take root deep inside me. It didn't matter what road I took for it all leads back to that one main road, condemning me to a lifetime of pain.

"All done. Now it's time for the dress." Aria says startling me from my thoughts. I plaster on a smile and look up at her who in return is already beaming at me in excitement.

I look in the mirror and admire my makeup. I only really where mascara, eyeliner and lipstick here and there, but today Aria decided that the special occasion calls for the whole works and I must say I agree. My eyes have this certain shine to them, a shine I haven't seen since before Zaren passed.

I continue to admire her work as I stare at my reflection in the full body length mirror. "You look beautiful." She admits.

She isn't wrong. The girl in the mirror looks beautiful and confident. Everything I am not. The makeup much like my smile is a mirage though. It keeps people from asking questions. It's shielding them from the pain I feel inside. From the fear of what's to happen next.

The dress I am wearing is a red long sleeve off the shoulder dress that reaches mid thigh, allowing the split on the bottom of the dress to make my legs seem longer then what they really are.
Aria paired the dress with simple black stud earrings and four inch open toe black strap heels. Again, it's beautiful but it's another mirage to distract them from asking the truth.

I smile as I admire my long brown hair styled in luscious waves as it meets my back midway. My hair is the only thing I ever really loved about myself.

"Now this my friend is what you call a masterpiece." Aria says admiring her work.

I quickly turn around and hug her as tight as I can. She's amazing and I hope she knows how grateful I am for everything. "I know. I'm the best. You don't have to remind me." She says with a bump in the shoulder.

"Yes you are and I want to thank you for always being here and helping me. I don't know what I would do without you, Ari. You made me a completely different woman. A woman I don't recognize staring back at me. "

Shrugging her shoulders,  Aria pulls me into a tight embrace. "You don't need to thank me, BB. You just needed a boost in the confidence department and it so happens I happened to sprinkle that on you tonight, so go out there and slay it. Show everyone how fierce and beautiful you are."