Rise From The Ashes (EDITING IN PROGRESS)

Chapter 29

Zevander's POV

   After waiting five minutes for my situation to go down Braxlyn and I dropped off Lenaya at her classroom. Lenaya gave kisses all over Braxlyn's face as I did this morning and told us she loved us. I didn't miss the happiness in Braxlyn's eyes as she told her she loved her back.

I noticed Lenaya's teacher giving dirty looks to Braxlyn and lustful looks at me. I will be talking to her soon because that doesn't sit well with me especially with what Lenaya said last month.

We arrived back to Braxlyn's apartment and are currently in Braxlyn's room. The walls are a dark blue with blue and white stripped curtains. The queen size bed is placed in the middle of the room as a nightstand is placed on each side of the bed. There is two floor to ceiling bookshelves that are decorated with boy toys for all ages and books. Lots of books. I know this was Zaren's room.

Lenaya tells me to sit on the bed as she walks to the book shelf and grabs a book. Looking at the book I know it's "Green Eggs And Ham" as it is Lenaya's favorite books and I have read it many nights.

'Was that why she was crying. Did she read this to Zaren too?' I ask myself.

Braxlyn sits beside me on the bed with the book on her lap as she searches my face. "You know I have a son named Zaren, but I never told you how he died." She sighs and I nod my head.

"As much as I want to tell you I know I won't be able to get a coherent word out." She says while I grab her hand and rub circles on her inner wrist.

"The day I ran into you at the cemetery I was there reading a book to Zaren. This book." She raises it so I can see. "It's... was his favorite book. I would read it to him every night." She says wiping a tear.

"I was cleaning my room and saw the book and decided I would go to the cemetery and read it one more time to him then I got to his favorite page." She pauses as she opens the book and pulls out a piece of folded paper and holds it up. "I found this. In there. I read it four times while I was there and now I want. No." She shakes her head. "I need you to read it."

I look at her to see a sad smile on her face. I grab the letter from her hand and give her a quick kiss before unfolding the piece of paper that says "MOM" on it and slowly open it.

Mom,

I hope this letter finds you well. I'm sorry you have to read this letter and I know I hurt you with what my actions caused, but can you find it in your heart to forgive me? The truth is I couldn't fight the demons that were in my head anymore. I've tried and although you got me the help, it wasn't working. I couldn't tell you though because that would make you sad and I never wanted to see you that way. The bullying at school is what caused me to finally take my own life. It was to much to handle. I tried, Mom. I really did but I just couldn't over come it. The voices in my head wouldn't give up. They kept pushing and pushing. I know you're going to blame yourself, but please don't. You are the best mother anyone could ask for and I am lucky to be your son. I'm sorry I left you when all you ever did was love me. When you needed me like I needed you. In my photo book there is a letter for Creed. Can you give it to him? I know we will be together again someday, but until then I want you to live your life. Be happy, find someone to love you as much as I love you because you deserve that, plus more. Don't hold back, Mom. See life as a blessing and not a burden. Don't let my choices and decisions change you. I expect many happy stories of your life after me when we reunite again. Remember I will always love you to infinity and beyond.

Love your handsome son, Zaren.

'He committed suicide. Zaren took his own life. I thought maybe he died from a accident or a sickness. Anything but this.' I think to myself in disbelief.