Rise From The Ashes (EDITING IN PROGRESS)

Chapter 42

                Zevander's POV

   After Braxlyn left I stayed in the same spot for thirty minutes crying. I picked myself up, grabbed Lenaya and our bags and put her in her car seat.

Lenaya continues to clutch the picture of the three of us even as I set her in her car seat. I try to move it from her hands but she wakes up and starts to cry.

"Lenaya I need to strap you in." I say grabbing the picture.

Lenaya kicks and screams and I sigh as I put my head down. "Lenaya. Please don't do this. Daddy isn't in the mood right now." I say begging.

"No, Daddy!" She yells. "I want Mommy! What did you do?" She says hitting me.

"Lenaya. Don't do that!" I yell grabbing her hands. "I didn't teach you to be this way. Use your words not your hands."

I quickly strap her in as she continues to cry. I sigh. "Look Lenaya, I'm sorry for getting angry but you can't act this way."

"Where's Mommy, Daddy?" She says through tears.

"She's not here but you will see her tomorrow," I say as I wipe her tears and give her the picture.

"You're a mean Daddy. You yelled at Mommy and used bad words." Lenaya says as her bottom lip quivers.

"Lenaya, I'm sorry you had to hear that but Daddy was angry." I say as I look at my feet.

"Well Daddy is mean and I don't want you. I want Mommy. Take me to Mommy." She cries and start to kick and scream.

"I can't!" I yell as I comb my fingers through my hair. "She left. She's gone." I say the last part with tears coming down my face.

Lenaya looks at me and pulls the picture to her chest as she hugs it tightly. "You're lying Mommy wouldn't leave without saying goodnight." She says looking down.

"She did Naya. You were asleep though." I say looking at her.

"I'm sorry, Princess." I whisper. "Can you please forgive me?"

Lenaya turns her head away from me and briefly nods and I kiss her head.

I go around the G-wagon and quickly recollect myself before stepping in.

Five minute later I see Lenaya with a tear streaked face and fast asleep.I sigh and continue to drive to my parents house.

I seen all the wrapped gifts we bought for Lenaya. Some I didn't even buy and I know they were from Braxlyn and I seen that she put them from the both of us. I really fucked up a good thing.

I lost one of the best things that ever happened to me. I lost the love of my life, but not only me, so did Lenaya. She became attached and fell in love with her like I did. Braxlyn became a mother to her. A mother she never had and I fucked it up.

She never let go of the picture throughout majority of the trip and I hate that she knows something is wrong. She shouldn't have to go through something like this because of my mistakes.

"Fuck." I says as I hit the steering wheel with my hand.

"Mommy..." Lenaya mummers and I quickly glance at her through the rearview mirror and see she is still fast asleep.

I feel the sadness sink in and I feel my tears blur my vision. I quickly wipe them and grip the steering wheel tightly.

"Fuck it." I say as I dial her number. It goes straight to voicemail and I quickly hang up and call her two more times but get the same response each time.