Rise From The Ashes (EDITING IN PROGRESS)

Chapter 14

   I've been so consumed by the death of my son that I never let myself live. I took his death as my failure. I wasn't there on that un-forgetful night. The night of his death. It was my fault he is dead.

As a parent our biggest fear is failing our child. We raise them to the best of our abilities and hope that it is enough. Sadly that wasn't the case for me. I was the failure in his life. I had did what my mom has told me I would do. I destroyed not only his life, but my life as well.

I failed him, therefore I don't get the privilege to live my life, to be happy. Still a small part of me says that he is right. Maybe I can let go and finally be happy for once.

I made that promise to him that I would try so I intend to live my life as if he has never left. Yes I will have bad days, but I will have to remember that I'm fighting to keep that promise to him.

Walking never felt so refreshing. I feel at ease as the wind gently blows across my skin, reminding me of what Zaren said. It's a reminder that everything is going to be okay.

"Hey, baby. I really do miss you," I whisper. "I'm also glad you visited me last night. I won't ever forget about you. As long as my heart continues to beat, I will keep your spirit alive."

My life was never something to celibate but the day I found out I was pregnant was one of the best days of my life. I was then that I became thankful for my life. It was like Zaren was meant to save me from the hell my parents continued to put me through.

My parents have never tried to contact me or their grandchild and I was okay with that. I left to protect him from them the moment I found out I was pregnant I knew i had to keep him safe from the monsters that were my said parents. I knew I would never treat my child how they treated me and the day I held Zaren in my arms I swore to protect him with my life, but I failed him as well. Like I do with everything.

No! I promised my myself I would try to be happy and dammit that's what I'm going to do.

Pushing those thoughts out of my head I notice the wind pick up as I begins blowing my hair in different directions before gently blowing across my face almost like a touch. "Zaren..." I whisper touching my cheek, smiling. If he was here I would hear him say I never failed him. I might not see him but I know he's here helping me find my peace.

"I love you, son and I promise you I will keep my promise to you. I'll carry you everywhere. Especially in here," I promise touching my chest just where my heart lies underneath. "As long as my heart is beating. Until I take my last breath and we are reunited."

As I get off my knees I look around and smile as happy tears leaves my eyes. I realize my son is no longer suffering. He's no longer in pain, but at peace and that is enough to make me the happiest I've been since he left this world.

The wind has picked up changing the beautiful blue sky a dark and gloomy grey, indicating that it is about to rain. Picking up my pace I walk a little faster in hopes of not getting caught in the storm... that is until I hear a sob. Looking around I see a man with messy blonde hair kneeling by a tombstone. He has his back to me and right away I knows how it is... it's Zevander.

My lips part on their own as I quiet gasp leaves my lips. He's visiting his wife. I feel a sense of sadness take over me as he kneels over her resting place and silently cries.

"I'm sorry, Aliana. I'm so so sorry that I broke my promise to you. I went on a date last night." He laughs dryly, but it doesn't sound like a happy laugh more like a laugh filled with regret. "I won't get into detail, but when I woke up my heart felt heavy. I felt like you were disappointed in me. Did I make a mistake?" I hear him ask.