Loki Oneshots (Loki X Reader)

Period Pains - Male Loki

A/n: one week into school and im already done. Here, I offer you short story as I figure out wHAt thE hECK to do for our 10k CELEBRATION!!!

It was that dreaded time of the month. You cursed anything and everything as you dragged to the kitchen in your sweats. You needed pain relief fast.

"Morning Y/n!" Clint waved before his eyes grew wide. "No," You nodded, already wanting to pick a fight. "Shit, the pain relief is in the cup- let me assist actually!"

He pushed all bottles of medicine aside, grabbing your prescribed pain relief. He screamed in horror as he shook it.

There was none left.

"Clint, I swear to GOD-" You snarled and he scrambled up into the vent.

"I'll get you more! Just, please don't murder anyone!" He begged.

"Do you need help hiding the body?" Natasha asked nonchalantly, popping out of nowhere. She did a backflip and took on a defensive stance when she saw your clothing. "Code: red?"

"Worse, I ran out of pain relief!" You slammed your fist on the counter. "Code: you better go hide!"

"ATTENTION AVENGERS!" Hawkeye screeched throughout the vents. "Y/n has run out of pain medicine! AND IT'S BEGUN! CODE: RED²! I REPEAT CODE: RED²!!"

Your shoulders heaved up and down like a wild, hungry animal. Natasha carefully approached and you had to shift your vision to friend mode instead of kill. She helped you to the living room, puffing up pillows and tucking you in with your favorite blankets.

Mama Steve came storming in, holding a cup of your favorite tea. You took with thanks and rejected his back massage offer. Bruce and Thor soon followed after, giving you your comfort items like sacrifices.

The real reason was because they wanted to stay away from your bad side as much as possible.

But someone must've missed the memo.

"Pathetic mortal," Loki snickered upon seeing you being babied. He walked into the living room without a care in the world. The whole team went rigid.

"Loki, now's not the best-"

"What? The little human going to shove poptarts down my throat?" He laughed again. You joined in. His laugh faltered and stopped as he heard the menacing intentions behind yours.

"I'll do much worse than that," Steve sat at the edge of his seat, giving you a pleading look. You would've listened but it was Loki. He had no right to talk to you like that.

"Oh? And what will you do, Pathetic mortal?" He gave you his full attention as the rest of the team started praying.

You saw Natasha jump into Clint's arms and join him in hiding away in the vents. Steve jumped for cover behind a sofa and Thor held his scientist friend up like simba, but panicked instead of peaceful.

Loki looked around confused as everyone peeked at you from their hiding places. You shoved the blankets off and stood up, squaring up.

"I'll shove those goddamm toaster treats so far up your ass, you'll have to run, tail between your shaking, stupid ass twig legs to Sakaar and beg on your hands and knees for your sugar daddy, Papi Grandmaster to remove them! You'll be sobbing for the titan Thanos himself fucking self to snap your neck before I find you. You'll wish the snap was never revered in order to be free from my merciless hands! Do you understand me, puny god?"

No one even breathed as you finished. Loki's whole bad guy act dropped, true terror, pure fear in his green little eyes as he quite literally shook in his boots.

"I said, do you understand me!?"

"Yes! Yes, I understand!!" He cried, backing up.

"Then kneel."

He flew to his knees, kneeling for you. For his queen.

You stood tall, a deadly expression on your face as the others gaped.

You, a simple Midgardian that had enough brains to be a technician for the Avengers, got Loki, the almighty God of Mischief, prince of Asgard, rightful heir to the Jotunheim throne, the man who demanded the same thing from all of New York and failed, to kneel.

You nudged his head up with your knee and he didn't need a second tap to look up. You leaned in, cupping his jaw tightly.

"I am your one and only queen," He nodded hastily. "Never forget it." You kissed the tip of his nose before walking off.

You heard Loki's body hit the floor and cry in relief as you turned the corner.

"OH AND GET ME MY PAIN MEDICINE!!!" You shrieked and everyone scrambled out the door. You laughed evily to yourself. "It feels good to be in power.