To The End With You

C h a p t e r T w e n t y- E i g h t

Photo: Grand Duchesses Olga Alexandrovna, Olga Nikolaevna, and Tatiana Nikolaevna 1913.

June 1913
I almost snapped my neck while looking at the palace. It was breathtaking. The train ride here was pretty long, but seeing how lavishing this palace was, made the whole thing worth it. I stood in front of the entrance and it was enormous.

Ella wasn't here anymore, after I convinced Grandmother to let her have a few months off for the wedding. It was in August after all and I was invited, as well as Grandmother. I was happy for Ella but surely missed her very much. "Hurry up Vanya."ordered Lili Dehn. She was one of the lady in waitings, but was closer to Mama like Anna. Lili mostly was around the Big Pair but tended to all of OTMA if needed and was very loyal to Mama. She rushed me into the the palace leaving me even more in awestruck. "Isn't Livadia so wonderful?"Tatiana expressed.  I didn't know who she was talking to, until she made eye contact with me and smiled.

I didn't know what to do with this interaction. I was still very upset about what she hid from me but it was her birthday yesterday. Tatiana wanted to postpone the gift giving until we got to Crimea. I haven't given her the gift yet. I wanted to avoid the awkward moment as much as possible.

The servants brought our belongings into our rooms. I had the privilege to share a room with the small pair again. Grandmother wasn't fond of it saying that we would just share a room together but Mama said no. Mama insisted that I was mentally healthy again but that would be determined by Dr.Botkin when he would get back from Moscow. Mama said he was on a business meeting there but would join us soon. I knew she wanted Rasputin to prove it but he wasn't allowed near me.

Distant family was coming over too. That boy that Marie danced with back in england, is coming to visit. As well as distant cousins. I wasn't too excited on having extra family over. I heard that Papa's sister is coming with her husband as well as Mama's sister, Grand Duchess Ella. Aunt Olga would be joining us tomorrow.

I was looking around when I noticed one of the doors were open to the court yard. I slipped past everyone and went out to court yard, it was very beautiful. I looked around but I spotted something misleading. I saw that angel from my dream and vision just standing there next to one of the pillars. She didn't have eyes in her eye sockets, she wasn't wearing her white gown. Instead it was replaced with a old black and raggedy gown. It had holes and was ripped in most places. The feeling of fear washed over me, so I cowered back, "Why are you here?"I whimpered.

This wasn't a dream. It wasn't a vision. I pinched myself to make sure. She stayed in place looking over me. She raised her hand pointing at me and the world around me turned dark. The only thing I heard was my name being called. But the setting around me went silent.

Light appeared again and I was back in Arizona. I was standing outside my house with my Grandmama weeping on the front porch. Auntie Helen was sympathetically trying to comfort her. "I failed, I failed her."she repeatedly cried. She was clutching on to something in her hand. I couldn't really tell what she was holding. It broke me, every single tear that fell from her face broke my heart.

"Grandmama!"I called out. But neither of them didn't seem to hear me, so I called out again, "Grandmama!", My weeping grandmama seemed to hear me because she shot up from her crumbling state and paused, "Did you hear that, Helen?" she asked frantically. My Auntie on the other hand didn't seem to hear a thing, "Hear what?".

"I heard her, she called me." my Grandmama muttered. "Sophie,"my Auntie Helen paused, but quickly continued, "She isn't here right now... she is at the hospital. They will let us know when she will wake up." I was going to call out for my grandmama again but I felt a cold grip on my shoulder. I quickly turned around and saw the terrifying figure of that angel. I screamed in fear as my vision went blank.

I felt myself standing in darkness, I couldn't move. Until I felt somebody shaking me, begging me to snap out of whatever this state was. After a few seconds I saw light again. I looked up and saw the bright blue sky. "Valentina!" I heard somebody yell out. I turned my head down to see that I was lying on the floor in Maria's arms with everyone surrounding us with faces full of worry.