To The End With You

C h a p t e r F o r t y

Photo: OTMA and their mama 1914 in Russia

June 1914
I wasn't sure if Misha and I were friends anymore. I haven't seen him around much and we have been here for three days. We were staying a week in Romania. Papa was occupied with Prince Carol and his relatives, having a great deal of fun while not worrying if his son will fall too hard, if he will die. I have been miserable since my conversation of rejection with Misha. At least I think it was rejection, what if it was just a question? Anyways I cared for him too much to say yes. It would have never been possible.

My sisters have noticed a shift in my mood and they know that it is not from the incident. Olga is very observant, she could tell more of why I am not my unusual self. With the excuse of my illness she has been spending her time by my side as an excuse then talking with Carol. I have been more paranoid about seeing the bloody angel again. The feeling I had when it was around me made me want to rip my skin off.

Currently we ladies and children were at the beach. Papa, prince Carol and all the other men we're hunting. Alexei was playing with the young royal Romanian children, my sister Maria was talking to Princess Maria of Romania (Yugoslavia). Anastasia was with Tatiana, having an intense conversation, I think. Olga was by herself while Mama and Queen Marie sat underneath a tent, drinking tea while keeping an eye on everyone. Of course ladies in waiting and soldiers (both Romanian and Russian) surrounded the perimeter.

I decided to take off my socks and shoes and walk around near the water. The warm ocean water felt nice to walk around in. Lili walked with me and so did a Russian officer so I would not attempt to runaway like last time. I wonder if he knew Misha. It couldn't hurt to ask. "Excuse me, Mister" I turned to look at him, he walked behind Lili and I. He looked over at me, not expecting me to socialize with him. "Yes Valentina Sergeevna" he said. "Let's walk together, I have a few questions for you"I demanded. I knew that I was the least popular out of my sisters amongst the soldiers but that didn't matter. The guard walked up to me so we started walking together.

"Do you know a solider named Misha?"I asked him. "Miss Valentina, I know many soldiers named Misha." The guard said. I sighed in disappointment, "Oh" I forgot Misha's last name! I am such a bad friend. How could I? It was common, having a really easy meaning behind it, that I could not remember. "Can you name all the Mishas you know that work on the Standart?"I asked. The officer gave me an unsure look and cleared his throat, "Well there is Misha Bykov, Gorky, Ivanov, Kotov, Lebedev, Zima, Volkov, Utkin-". "Wait!"I cut him off. "Misha Zima" I repeated.

The officer's face lighted up, "Misha Zima is a very good fellow! A bit odd though." I raised my eyebrow at him, "Odd?" The solider nodded his head, "Yes, always on his feet. He always trading duties with the other men. He did extra jobs for them. He always seems very dazed, in his own world." My heart started to race, he did this all, for what? I spoke, "Do know by any chance why he did all of this?" The solider pondered, "When I was as young as him, the only will I had to accomplish these kind of jobs was for the hand of my now wife, Katerina."

"Was your wife royalty?"I asked. The man laughed, "Oh dear child no, it would have been impossible if she were royalty. She was a nurse for the former Tsarina Maria" He continued to speak, "My Katerina and I are very lucky, we would have been star crossed lovers" I stayed silent. He couldn't have done all of this, for me?

I feel much more guilty, I let him down. But we couldn't have been anything. I can't marry a solider. "But Auntie Olga marries one a voice" said in the back of my head. If he can just wait until the revolution then we could get married. I needed to speak Misha urgently. "Thank you... erm-,"
"Andrei"he smiled.

"Vanya!"I heard. I turned to see Olga running my direction with her shoes in hand, while other she used to keep her large hat on her head. "I should walk with you, as your sister I must make sure that you are well and safe"she rambled finally catching up to me. "Okay sure"I said sarcastically. "I didn't want to leave you walking alone" she repeated. I sighed, "Fine"

"Do you really know Spanish Vanya?"Olga asked me out of nowhere. "What?"I asked. "The last time we had a walk like this, I asked if you speak another language hoping you would say French, you told me that you speak Spanish."Olga looked at me. "Well I speak a little bit of Spanish. It might not be as good as before because I haven't practiced it in awhile but I could still say some phrases."

"I want you to say my name is Valentina and that I am having a nice day at the beach"she requested. "Mi nombre es Valentina  y es un día encantador en la playa." I mumbled, trying to remember. I haven't practiced in a long time so my memory was very rusty.
it.
"I am not going to marry Prince Carol"Olga blurted out ignoring my amazing Spanish speaking skills. "What! Why not? Do you know what this marriage could do for the future of your country and his?"I started raising my voice. "I am not getting forced into this! Papa and Mama said that there was no pressure in getting married, it's just a meeting."Olga fires back.

"Oh my god! Focus on the bigger picture Olga, the world doesn't revolve around you! You need to marry him!"I cried out. "Well if this marriage is so important why don't you marry him?"Olga yelled out. At this point we stopped walking and Olga stood in front of me with a red face. "I- He is too old for me."I muttered. "Exactly, if you were in my position you wouldn't marry him either."Olga spat.

"Olga I-,"

Olga turned around and walked away from me, our conversation had ended.

It is obvious that my parents won't listen to me. I felt as if I had the world resting on my shoulders. If I am going to save them from dying, I have to wait. Right now I need Tatiana on my side, I hope that she has not forgotten about our deal from some time ago. When the argument had ended I felt like jumping into the cool ocean water.