To The End With You

C h a p t e r T h i r t y -T w o

Photo: The Tsar and his children 1913 in Livadia
June 1913
Currently I was sitting at the corner of the room in my wheel chair. We were having a ball for Tatiana and Maria. I really did expect something small but the ball room was enormous filled with people, I guess it was smaller compared to other palaces. I sort of lost Maria after our cousin from England, Louis Mountbatten, asked her to dance. It was painfully obvious that he had a crush on her. The others teased her about it a lot. She would get very flustered and deny anything they would say. But when I heard that he was our FIRST COUSIN, I immediately vomited and then was put to bed rest by Botkin. That wasn't true, but I did vomit.

Alexei had an episode so he got put to a mud bath. No one knew about this but me and Maria. We were at the wrong place in the right time to see it. Later Mama told Tatiana and they went on a walk together afterwards. But anyways there were officers and guards all over making sure everyone was safe. Some of our younger cousins were dancing with my sisters.

I always come to the decision that I'm bored. It's hard not having your iPhone next to you or tablet. I try not to think about my grandmama or my Auntie Helen. Every time I do then I start to cry, It's too painful for me. I had small pieces of food on my lap that I was hiding from my dear Mama. She had a close eye on what we eat so we won't get "fat". I wasn't really eating them, more like playing with the tiny pieces of bread so I wouldn't totally die of boredom.

Anastasia would come by occasionally and take a few pieces from me, actually she would steal. I looked around to see if perhaps there was anyone around that could put me out of my misery. While being in the corner of the room I saw an odd looking girl. She stood on the side of the dance floor, not participating. She didn't look like a lady in waiting but she also didn't look like a servant. She had her blonde hair up and her She noticed my staring and walked over to me. "Good afternoon Grand Duchess Valentina Nikolaevna." She stated. I felt very uncomfortable, her piercing green eyes stared into my soul. "Good evening uh-,"

"Irina, Countess Irina."she stated. "Oh, nice to meet you!"I exclaimed. We stood in silence until she spoke to me again, "Its looks like your Sister is looking for you." I turned my head to see Tatiana in her bright pink dress (that Olga used for her 16th birthday) looking concerned at me. Countess Irina walked away while Tatiana came up to me, "Vanya, are you feeling alright?" I looked at her confused, "Yes, why are you asking? I was just speaking to Countess Irina."
She looked at me confused, "Vanya there was no one there. You weren't speaking to anyone."

"No, No, No you are wrong she was just here."I stuttered looking around frantically for the women I just spoke to. She couldn't have walked far, but she was no where to be seen. "I'll go get Dr. Botkin," Tatiana offered. "No! I... I don't want to ruin the night, Mama is already stressed about Alexei and she is getting horrible migraines. She doesn't need much more pressure on her. Don't tell anyone about this, not Olga, not Marie, nor Anastasia."

Tatiana nodded her head not saying anything. I leaned back into my overly large wheelchair in exhaustion. I wiped the baby hairs away from my face keeping my gaze on my feet. I took a deep breath and looked at Tatiana, "Your wig is a little crooked, move it to the right a little." She quickly did and her wig looked like her natural again. "It got crooked from all the dancing, I wish that we could dance together."she sighed.

I smiled at her, "We could if none of the soldiers or ladies in waiting were watching." She laughed at my suggestion, "We can't, you must get better after what happened." I shrugged, "It wasn't anything serious," She gave me the look that read 'Are You Serious' and spoke, "You almost had your eyes roll in the back of your head while you fell."

"Much more worse things happened to me."I said. One of our younger cousins from Germany came up to Tatiana and took her by the hand ordering her to dance with with him. Tatiana gave me the look of apology and left to dance with the little boy. I was alone again with no company. How come Tatiana didn't see the women that I spoke to? Maybe she didn't see correctly. I don't know the side affects of typhoid, but maybe her vision got worse.

I teared apart the pieces of bread in my lap until they were nothing but mere crumbs. I sighed in annoyance again, thinking about the lady, Countess Irina. She had to be real, she stood right in front of me, clear as day. "Good evening Valentina,", I snapped out of my train of thought and saw Misha out of all people. "Oh, Hello Misha."I greeted. "How are you?"he asked me. "Well as I could be while being stuck in this chair."I replied while watching people dance across the floor. "Do you want to dance?" I frowned and turned my head to look at him, "How could we dance without anyone noticing?"

He smiled at me and took the back of my wheelchair handles and wheeled me out of the corner and parked my chair outside, behind one of the many double doors that led to the fresh outside. He stood in front of my chair and took out his hand for me to take. I smiled and took it as he helped me out of the wheelchair with all the bread (that are now crumbs) falling on the concrete. My feet felt weak after not being able to walk for a long time. I held onto both of his arms while my body shook from being weak and having no upper body strength, "Misha I can't really stand, my legs are shaking. I think it's better if I just go back to the chair."

He looked and me and paused for a second, "Do you trust me Vanya?" I thought for a second, did I really trust him?, I nodded my head, he took me by my waist and picked me up as a child would pick up their favorite toy, effortlessly. I ended up standing on his shoes. "Misha I'm sorry, let me just-," he cut me off, "No, stay like this, you are in a very fragile state." He has his hands around my waist and I put my arms around his neck and we started to sway to the music. We danced outside in the warm breezy June air.