It's been a month and I literally haven't really been out the house, haven't talked to anyone besides Dani and Steelo here and there nor have I been on social media since everything has happened. I would break down all the time and just overall felt like shit. I'm sure I probably lost at least five pounds because I haven't been eating and when I did it would be a snack. My mother and everyone tries to come over and talk but I just don't be in a talking mood because I already know what the conversation is about to be about and I just rather not.
From what I heard from dani, Michael hasn't been straight either. He would text me here and there but I just honestly don't want to talk to him. I love him but I need you to be there and protect me and our children if you're going to be my husband. You can provide all day but if I can't confide in you like I should then it defeats the purpose. I tried telling him he didn't answer and then by the time we were back talking good it almost like I didn't want to bring it up because now it's something else for him to be mad at me about.
I was sorry for how he found out and I can only imagine how he feels but him being mad at me makes me ten times worse because I already feel like I placed myself in that situation to begin with. Then him and I breaking up also made me feel bad I just wasn't in the right head space with myself or anything else for that matter. I knew I needed therapy as far as Jevon and I but this is something I just can't bring myself to talk about to anyone else.
Tomorrow morning my flight was leaving for Atlanta as my new house was out there waiting for me. After days of contemplating, praying and crying I've made the decision to go out there to make sure Jevon is put away and that he will never ever hurt another woman like that in his life. With this I knew I was going to have to speak up as a victim in the court room and talk about my experiences with Jevon. I just felt I would want someone to help my child out if this was what was going on with them.
The only person who knew I was leaving tomorrow morning was Dani and we kept it between us because Steelo would of course tell Michael because they're both not in favor of me possibly "leaving". Then the rest of the family is just going to find out when they do. I know how that may sound or make people feel but right now I didn't want opinions what people would've did or what they would've said I don't want any of that. I honestly just wanted my life back.
I packed Lola's things up for our flight tomorrow as I heard my phone start to ring. I just grabbed it off the dresser seeing Dani calling my phone. I answered it placing her on speaker "hello" I simply said "hey" she started off "hey" I dryly said. "How are you feeling?" She asked. "I've been feeling like shit for the past month you've been calling me" I jokingly said but there was some truth to that joke.
"Y/N you're not going out there to kill yourself are you?" She asked a little down. "I don't know I just might, lake Lanier isn't too far from where my house is" I joked. "Y/N" she started off "I'm just kidding" I said as she interrupted me "that's not even fucking funny" she expressed. "Just a little dark humor, I'll be fine. I'm handling this whole thing with Jevon and hopefully I'll come back" I explained. "Y/N I'm about to fucking hang up" she said as I laughed. "No Y/N you're laughing and I'm being fucking for real!" She loudly said as I just stopped and looked down at my phone.
"You're a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a best friend , a niece, a granddaughter and whether you and Michael are on good terms or not you are a girlfriend. You offing yourself is my biggest fucking concern right now!" She said clearly frustrated. "She's what?!" I heard Steelo ask in the background. "Here we go" I said to myself. "She's joking around about suicide like her ass isn't locked away in the house not talking to anyone." Dani said to Steelo. "Y/N people are mad concerned about you stop joking around seriously" Steelo expressed.
"In fact I'm telling your mother since you want to play and I'm telling Michael and Donna" he added. "Steelo it's not even that serious" I argued. "No Y/N it is that fucking serious your family hasn't heard from you in a month you're not talking to ANYONE and the only person you are talking too is Dani and you're not even telling her all of everything!" He explained.
"Steelo seriously stop" I said "then come out with us tonight" he simply said. "What?" I questioned. "If you want me to believe you're okay. Come out with us tonight" he said as I just sighed to myself. "Who is us? And go out where?" I questioned. "Dani and I are going to a basketball game they still have some court side tickets next to us" he said as I was quiet. "Steelo I don't know if that's a good idea I haven't been in the public eye since everything was released" I admitted.
"You need to get out of the house Y/N" Dani said as I just stood there. "What time you want me to be ready?" I asked "at five" Steelo instructed. "Okay" I simply said. "We wouldn't be doing this if we didn't love or care about you" Steelo assured as I just nodded. "Okay we'll I'll see you two in a little bit" I said as before dani could get her "good bye" fully out I hung up.
It was five o clock as I was standing there dressed on my porch as Steelo pulled into the drive way. They parked the car as I started walking towards the car and the window rolled down. Steelo just looked at me and looked away. "Babe get your fucking friend because I can't" Steelo said shaking his head as Dani finally looked up from her phone. She just closed her eyes.
"Y/N be for real right now" she started off "Y/N Be fucking for real!" She shouted as I looked at them crazy then down at my outfit.
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"You know damn well you don't normally dress like that at a basketball game stop fucking-" Steelo started off as he just shook his head. "Yo bro between you and Michael's dumb ass y'all really taking me there" Steelo said as I just looked at them.
"Damn I guess it's too late for me to go change" I said as Steelo and Dani just looked at each other. "Keep it up and I'm going to sing like a fucking canary" Dani warned pointing to me as I laughed. "What are you talking about?" I asked. "She's leaving for atlanta tomorrow" she finally said to Steelo as I just looked at her in disbelief. "What you talking about?" Steelo questioned Dani before looking over at me. "What? You going for the weekend or something?!" Steelo asked as I just ignored him going back into the house.
I just locked my front door and went upstairs as Lola followed jumping onto the bed. I was laying in the bed for about ten minutes before I received a phone call from Michael.
