Chapter 16

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'I am tired <> I'm in dire need of peace.'  ~Unknown

I don't know how to feel , I am so numb. I mean I grew up being told that the woman who birthed me left me in my grandparents house , the same grandparents I just learnt aren't my biological grandparents but strangers who abused me for so many years?That stings like hell , well I'm not too sure what hurts the most.

Now here I am lying in a hospital her after suffering from a panic attack two days ago when I met my supposed mother. Sigh. Although she has been coming here everyday and thrice a day I still can't let her in , it's not easy. Right on cue she walks in with a sports bag on her shoulder and Nkazi on her arms.

Nobuhle : "Hey baby."  She says smiling shyly.

Me : "Hi." I greet back with my now hoarse voice. Nkazi stretches her arms to me and Nobuhle puts her on my lap and my baby just holds on to me tightly. I missed my little troublemaker.

Nobuhle : "I'm really sorry if I'm coming on too hard at you , my excitement just got overboard because this is what I've always wanted my whole life , I've always wanted to hold you baby or just be there so I'm really sorry , staying away makes me so anxious that maybe I might wake up and this will be a dream or someone will take you away from me."  She says with her voice cracking.

Me : "I understand. I just.... I'm just too overwhelmed because I've always known you as the bad guy and I grew up resenting the person who is my mother so it's kinda hard to get away or get my mind away from that mentality."  She holds my hand and smiles sadly at me.

Nobuhle : "Can you give me a chance to prove myself? Can you please? I'd really love to since well you my only daughter."  I smile and nod at her.

Me : "I'd be happy to."  She smiles and pecks my cheek.

Nobuhle : "Thank you baby. So you getting discharged now , urm can I please take you with to my house? But it's definitely okay if you can't."  She looks so nervous right now.

Me : "I'd like some cuddles from my mom." We both giggle.

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So here I am in Bluff where my mot..Nobuhle I meant , lives. Her house is spectacular by the way. She parks the car in front of a big brown double door.

Nobuhle : "and we here. Come on let's get inside." She says getting out the car and grabs Nkazi into her arms.

Me : "Hawu Mah , aren't you supposed to carry my bag since I was just discharged?"  She laughs.

Nobuhle : "uhm as long as your arms and legs are intact , you good baby." I huff and take the bag , when I'm about to follow her somebody takes the bag from me and it's Mandy.

Me : "ouuhh thank you Mandzy Mandz , atleast you have a good heart neh?" She looks at me and clicks her tongue before laughing softly. We walk inside and it's almost a full house or lounge to be precise , I just stay next to Nobuhle and my eyes glued to the floor ; Nkazi is already being passed around and I'm sure she's enjoying it. 

Nobuhle : "Okay why are you all in my house?"

Woman : "To meet our baby hawu."

Nobuhle : "Yoh! Who told y'all she's coming here with Me?" She asks already eyeing Mandy.

Man : "You already know it." They all laugh while Mandy frowns.

Woman : "Come and sit here ntombiyami." I go sit next to her and immediately Nkazi cries for me so I take her and she lays her head on me.

Nobuhle : "Baby , that is my father & mother next to you ; then uAsemahle my baby sister , Fezeka you already met her then uMandla my brother , your brothers Andre and Andrew who I think you've met ; then we have Mthoko your uncle and the others are your cousins and they'll introduce themselves." My supposed cousins are four in this room excluding Mandy and they introduce themselves too , as , Lihle ; Thando ; Ntando and Bridgett.

Me : "It's a pleasure to meet you all. I am Hlonela Nomandla Mb.... uhm yeah."  I'm not too sure if that's even my right surname.

Nobuhle's mother : "Call me Khulu yezwa?" She looks so beautiful man , I smile.

Me : "Yebo."

Khulu : "You are very beautiful my child , your daughter is beautiful too. Where's her father?"  I choke on my saliva then turn to stare at Mandy who is so laughing at me.

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