Lost Loving Souls (Connor x Reader)

Chapter 64

You groaned as you tried to sleep. You just couldn't get comfortable. Connor was next to you and you sighed as you looked over at him. It was kind of weird how he could just lay there on his back straight as a board. You frowned as you got an idea of how to cheer yourself up. You didn't want to cave in, but you did. 

"Connor?" You asked, finally speaking up. His eyes opened and he looked over at you.

"Yes, (Y/n)? Is something wrong?" He asked.

"I..." You hesitated. "I can't sleep." He frowned sympathetically and gave you a soft smile. He rolled onto his side and opened his arms.

"Come here." You smiled a little and gladly let him pull you in closer. You rested your head on his chest. "Is there anything you want me to do?" You thought about it. 

"Can you...n-no, nevermind. It's stupid." You said, chickening out of it, your face already burning red. 

"I'm sure it isn't. Please, it's alright, (Y/n). What is it?" He asked softly. 

"Can you...run your fingers through my hair?" You asked, blushing insanely. At first, you thought he wasn't going to do it, but then you felt him gently start combing through your hair. You relaxed and closed your eyes, enjoying the slight tingle it gave you.

"Like this?" He asked, his voice a whisper. It sent chills down your spine, but it only made you even more comfortable.

"Yes." You replied just as softly. You knew he was smiling. You felt his other arm wrap around your waist. Suddenly, you felt him roll his thumb on your shoulder. You hummed slightly at the touch. He did it again and you chuckled.

"Are you just trying to get me to kiss you?" You asked. You knew he was blushing now.

"I-I...s-sorry, I didn't mean to send off that message-"

"Connor," You cut him off.

"Y-yes?"

"It's okay." You told him.

"It...it is?" He asked.

"Yeah. It's okay if you want to maybe...give me a peck now and then. I...I don't want to hurt you, Connor. I do care about you. I just...I'm sorry, but...I...I still can't..." You cut off, remembering the pain again.

"I know." He told him, resting his chin on the top of your head.

"Wait...w-what?" You asked.

"I know you can't do that, (Y/n). I understand. I don't know how painful it was for you, but the last thing I want to do is cause you to hurt so much again. So, if this is where we will be for the rest of both of our lives, I will not argue with that. I will do what it takes to make you happy." He told you, kissing your temple for a second. You smiled.

"How can you do this?" You asked breathlessly. 

"Do what?"

"How can you reach me? How can you see the good? How did you even get this far?" You asked, disbelieving that any of this was real.

"Because...I always accomplish my mission."

"Mission? What mission?" You asked.

"To bring the real you back." You froze.

"Connor..."

"Shh..." He hushed you. He pulled you in closer and you felt him gently rub your back, trying to get you to relax again. "Go to sleep. I will be right here the entire night if you need anything." You smiled.

"Thank you, Connor."

"You don't have to thank me, (Y/n). Goodnight." He told you.

"Night."

Cass' POV

I was out on the balcony out back of the church. It was late and Markus had told everyone about what (Y/n), Connor, and Hank had come to warn us about. I still hadn't seen (Y/n). Neither had Nate. We were always busy when she came around with the others.

I heard footsteps behind me. I looked back and saw Nate. He came over and stood next to me. I heard him sigh heavily.

"So what now?" He asked.

"We hold at. It's all we can do." I replied.

"I can't take this, sis. We have to do something about it." He said. I frowned.

"You know we can't just go back," I told him. "It doesn't work that way. We just have to lay low." 

"Why can't we try?" He asked. 

"Because both of us know that it could screw everything up!" I said. 

"But Connor said-"

"Connor is getting closer to where he needs to be. He's figuring out who he is! He doesn't know what we do and if anything happens to either of them it's over. You know what our job is Nate. We have to stick with it. If we're gonna survive, we need to make sure nothing goes wrong." I told him.

"And what if something does happen?" He asked. I sighed.

"We do what we have to."

"No. Absolutely not! You know that if we do that it'll-"

"I know!" I said. I turned away from him. "I know, Nate." He paused for a long time, shoving his hands into the back pockets of his jeans and looking out at the scenery before us.

"It'll break him." I sighed again, closing my eyes.

"It'll hurt him. It won't break him." 

"How can you be so sure? Look what happened to me." He said. I looked away.

"Oh yeah. You suffered." I said.

"We both suffered." He said. 

"Nate, if something happens to me, you know that you have to go through with it. It's the only way."

"I just wish there were something better." He said.

"So do I." 

"I still don't think we should do that." 

"Nate-" He suddenly hugged me tightly. 

"But...I trust you. I've always trusted you, Cass." He told me. I smiled and hugged back.

"It'll be alright," I told him. He chuckled and let go.

"We can only hope." I nodded. "I gotta go check on Star. I'll see ya later, sis. Just don't stay out here all night, okay?" I chuckled.

"No promises, Nate."

"Bye, Cass."

"Bye." I turned back to the view. I kept looking out over it and the gentle breeze blew my hair to the side. I looked up at the moon. "God help us. Let this go right."