Lost Loving Souls (Connor x Reader)

Chapter 67

Gavin's POV

I saw Chris looked pretty shaken up as he came back from a backup call he'd gotten. I wondered why he looked like that. I went over to find out.

"Hey, you okay, Chris?" I asked.

"It's not me that you should be asking about." He replied. I was confused now.

"Huh? What happened? Who are you talking about?" I asked.

"It's (Y/n)." I was surprised. I felt worried for her, but if only I'd known just how bad things had gotten.

"(Y/n)? What happened? Is she okay? Did she get hurt or something?" I asked.

"Gavin..." Chris seemed to be struggling with the words.

"What?" I said, more persistent this time.

"(Y/n) jumped in front of Connor to defend him from an armed hostile target. She meant to fire, but she wasn't fast enough. She took a bullet to the side of her heart, Gavin." I felt my blood run cold.

"W-what? N-no...she...she's in the hospital right!?" I asked.

"She passed away on the scene. There was nothing anyone could do. She was losing too much blood and the shot was too fatal to try and heal. I'm sorry, Gavin." I felt like I had just been hit by a truck. (Y/n) was my best friend. I could talk to her. she understood me and I understood her. Now she was just...gone? I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye. How could I have not been there for you? Oh my God...I-I'm never going to....I-I'll never see her again... The shock swallowed me completely. I was too dazed to react properly. "Gavin?" Chris asked. I turned away from him, hiding how this was affecting me.

"...I need a smoke..." I muttered and walked away. Chris knew better than to try and talk to me. I went to the bathroom instead so I could be alone. I locked the door after making sure nobody else was in there. I slumped to the floor as it finally hit me full blast. "S-she's dead..." I let the tears fall. "FUCK IT!! YOU IDIOT, (Y/N)!!" I screamed, clutching my hair so tight I thought I'd rip it out at any second. "Why!? Why didn't you listen to me!? You fucking...y-you..." I stopped yelling and I let my head drop into my knees. "(Y-Y/n)..."

I never let myself get emotional like this in public, so I had to make sure nobody could see me like this. I knew locking the bathroom door was a bit extreme since it wasn't a single unit one, but I didn't care. 

I stayed there for a good 15 minutes before finally being able to compose myself enough to leave. I went out and I saw a few people were giving me weird glances, but my glare told them to look away, which they did as soon as our eyes met. I sat down in the Cafe area, wanting to be alone still. I only came out because I couldn't exactly just block off the bathroom to everybody. I heard a voice a minute or so later though.

"She really cared about you, you know." I looked over and I saw a girl I'd never seen before there. I was confused.

"Who are you? How'd you get in here?"

"I'm a transfer, actually. I just got here yesterday, but I saw the two of you hanging out. She really did care about you." I huffed and shrugged her words off, acting like I didn't care. "You know, it might not be easy, but you should think about what she'd want you to do from here." I paused. I looked at this girl again and she gave me a kind smile. "I'm pretty sure trying to see her side might be a good start." I felt a little freaked out by this.

"What? How did you know about-"

"About how she looked at Connor?" I finally realized that this person ha to have been close to (Y/n) in order to know this stuff.

"Who are you?" She shrugged.

"Just a cop trying to help." With that, she left. What the fuck? I was so confused. Who was that girl? She seemed to just appear out of thin air! I shook it off and went back to my drink. I thought about what she said. I had noticed how (Y/n) had been treating Connor lately. The signs were clear, but it had also been apparent that they weren't together. I'm acting like she's still here. It's because of Connor she's gone! I thought angrily. "No it isn't, and you know that." That annoying second voice scolded me. I sighed. Of course it isn't. It's... I paused. I went over to Chris, my blood now boiling.

"Chris?" He looked at me. "Where's the guy who did this?" I asked, trying to hide my rage.

"We're bringing him in and we're going to hold him until Hank and Connor can question him tomorrow. Both of them went home after...everything." Chris explained. I thought about what he said and nodded.

"Thanks," I told him and I went back to my desk. Tomorrow, I was going to teach that bastard exactly what line he just crossed.

Connor's POV

Hank left me at (Y/n)'s place and said he was going to go get Sumo and bring him there so we could all stay together. I think he knew I couldn't be alone at the moment. I was still shaking and in shock from everything that had happened. It still felt like this was all just a nightmare, but it wasn't. My mind was fighting whether to convince itself of one or the other. I wanted to believe it was a nightmare, but the rest of me knew it wasn't. 

I realized that I was still in bloody clothes. I knew I had to go clean up, but nothing could wash away what had just happened and what I was now going through. Nothing could erase it and nothing could change it. 

I wanted Hank to get back faster. He was taking too long, even though he was taking the time it normally took to travel there and back. I felt alone and I was still scared. I didn't like being alone and being alone at (Y/n)'s only made it worse. We had to come here because we couldn't leave her animals unattended.

Soon enough, Hank came back with Sumo. Sumo wanted to run up to me, probably already knowing something was wrong, but Hank didn't let him since I was still in my stained clothes.

"Connor, you need to go clean up, okay? I'll be right out here if you need me." Hank told me. I nodded slowly, not saying anything. Hank sighed. "It'll be alright, son. We'll...we'll get through this, okay?" I just nodded again, not ready to talk about anything. I went to the bathroom and finally began to wash up. 

As I was in there, I remembered the mornings (Y/n) told me she was going to clean up. As I thought about it, I didn't realize I'd started crying again. Then, I fell to my knees, my body shaking too hard to stay upright. I just stayed there, whimpering as I tried not to break down again.

I hadn't realized I'd been in the bathroom for a good 45 minutes. Hank had come to check on me. He'd brought a towel and helped me get out. I could hardly do anything on my own now. I had never felt more helpless.