Lost Loving Souls (Connor x Reader)

Chapter 142

That night, you were going to sneak out to see Gavin. You'd already called him and told him to meet you at the park closest to your house. He asked what it was about, but you told him that you couldn't tell him over the phone. It had to be in person.

You wanted to wait until you were sure Connor was asleep. You were glad that you'd been able to trick him into thinking you'd also gone to sleep. You slipped out of bed and you threw on your coat since you didn't have much time to get to the park. You were only in shorts and a baggy tank top, so you wanted something to cover up with. 

You went to the bathroom first. You looked into the mirror. You slowly pulled off your shirt and looked at yourself from the side. You were stunned. You could tell that a bump was forming and that scared you even more. It was minor, but noticeable if you took a moment to actually look at it. 

You gently traced it with your finger. Any other time, you might've been happy for something so amazing to happen, especially in your condition, but...you had so many fears and no good options. Why? Why can't I escape this? You wondered. You resolved yourself quickly. You couldn't waste time. You put your shirt and coat back on before rushing out of the house. Gavin would already be on his way to the park. You just hoped you'd get there before he would.

Connor's POV

I listened as I stayed hidden behind the bedroom door. I knew that something was wrong, but now I was starting to grow concerned in a different way. Was she hiding something from me? 

I didn't have time to think about it. The bathroom door opened and I began to panic, trying to think of an excuse for being up. I was confused when I heard her footsteps fading. She was going the other way? I peeked out and saw that she'd thrown a raincoat on. I watched as she left the house. 

I followed after her, not bothering to throw anything else on. I was in a t-shirt and shorts, but (Y/n)'s street was rarely active at night. I was going to find out what was going on. 

Your POV

You made it to the park and you looked around. You gripped your jacket tightly, hoping he'd actually come. You decided to test it.

"Gavin?" There was silence for a moment, but you heard a sigh.

"What's going on? Why did you drag me out here in the middle of the night-" You latched onto him, startling him. He hesitated for a moment until he realized that this was serious. He hugged back. "Whoa, okay, am I missing something? What's going on? I just thought you'd called in sick." He asked. You pulled back, your tears rushing down your face like waterfalls.

"G-Gavin, I-I'm so screwed!" He looked confused.

"What? What are you talking about? Wait...did Connor find out!?"

"No, it's worse than that!"

"Worse? (Y/n), what the hell could be worse than-"

"I'M FUCKING PREGNANT, YOU ASSHOLE!" His hand raced to your mouth, even though the color had just drained from his face. You'd never seen him look this terrified.

"W-what?" He whimpered. Your anger quickly faded. Your mood had been swinging left and right for days now and Connor had already begun to notice. Tears rushed down your face as you whimpered into his hand. He took it away and pulled you into a hug. He seemed to be having trouble breathing too. "N-no...(Y-Y/n) that's n-not possible! Y-you're...y-you're..." He pulled back, covering his own mouth, the shock consuming him as he began to shake. "Oh my fucking god...w-what have we done?" 

"W-what are we gonna do!? T-they can't know about this, but what choice do we have now!?" You cried. He rushed to comfort you.

"H-hey, shh....i-it's gonna be alright. W-we'll...we'll think of something!"

"Gavin, what the fuck are you planning on doing!? We can't just tell Connor it's his! I might be able to have children, but that's fucking ridiculous!" You paused. "Plus...I couldn't live with that lie! And what about the baby? God, Reed! I can't raise a child like that! I can't raise a child PERIOD!" He bit his lip, rubbing the back of his neck. He looked like he had an idea, but he didn't like it.

"W-what if...y-you just get an-"

"No." You warned. "Don't even say it." 

"(Y/n), we might not have a choice."

"I'm not killing a child, Gavin!"

"W-well...technically it's not a full child." You glared at him.

"Fuck you. That's a low blow." You hissed, holding your stomach with salty angered tears in your eyes. "That's like saying it's not alive. Like I'm not alive. Like Collin and Connor aren't alive! We've been over this!"

"I KNOW!" He shouted. Tears were in his eyes now as well. "But...(Y/n), what else are we going to do? Connor and Collin are brothers so if you and I had a kid, that would be wrong on so many levels! Do you know how fucked up a family tree like that would be!?" You leaned against a tree, slinking to the ground as you held your stomach and your mouth. 

"W-what are we gonna do?" You whimpered, completely lost on how to handle this. He frowned and knelt down beside you.

"I....I don't know...." He whispered, unable to speak any louder. "God, this is all my fault."

"Don't start with that shit again. I'm too fucking worked up at you already." You grumbled to him, harshly wiping your tears away. After a few minutes, you both stood up. He hugged you.

"I'm sorry, (Y/n). But...it might be our only choice." He told you. You looked away in shame. 

"What have our lives become, Gavin? Are we just bound to be tangled in this huge web of lies? Why are we being forced to suffer like this? All we ever wanted was to be happy..." You muttered, your lip quivering as you were on the verge of tears again. He cupped your cheek.

"We'll figure this out. We have to. For now...just go home and rest. We'll keep in touch and...we'll think of something."

"What if they find out before then?" You asked. He sighed heavily. 

"Then I'm taking the heat. I can take their anger and hurt. I deserve it. You've already been through enough of this. If it comes down to it, you tell Connor it was my fault."

"But-"

"No, (Y/n). I'm not letting you go through this shit again. Not because of me...not because of anyone, including yourself." You frowned. "Promise me that's what you'll tell him. Please, (Y/n)." You looked into his eyes. He'd never acted like this before. You knew he cared about you, but this...this was more than you'd ever expected from him. 

"Okay...but I don't like it." 

"I know, but I'm still gonna take the heat. I'm not gonna let you lose everything again. You've already lost enough." You both hugged again and he gently pushed you off after a minute or two. "Go. You have to get home before he knows you're gone." You nodded. 

"Thank you, Gavin. For everything." You told him and hurried off. 

You sighed as you made it to the house. You hung up your coat after closing the door behind you. You turned to head back to bed, but you froze, a bright red light catching your eye as you headed for the hall.

"You're up late, aren't you?" You stood there, horrified by what was happening. Oh god...

"Connor..."