Lost Loving Souls (Connor x Reader)

Chapter 148

"...Mph...Connor?" You groaned as you came to. Your eyes opened and you saw that the room was still fairly dark thanks to the shades. You were confused at the emptiness of the bed. For a moment, you'd forgotten where you were and what had happened. 

As you looked around and realized that you weren't in your room, you remembered the events of the night before. Your head fell back on the pillow. You were almost disappointed that you'd made it through the night. No...I've already died once. I'm living through this. You told yourself. Your hands rested over your stomach. I don't have much of a choice now, anyway. You thought with a half-hearted grin.

As you laid there, you let yourself cry. All of this was too much for you and the heightened hormones didn't help. You were able to stop after about ten minutes, luckily. You got up and you groaned as you felt your body ache. Jesus, if my body aches from last night I don't want to know what it's gonna be like near the end of this. 

It was then it occurred to you that you were only about a month and a half into this. You frowned. But...why would I start showing so early? First-time mothers usually start showing late. Maybe...maybe it's because I'm an android or something. Whatever the answer was, you were too out of it and drained to care at the moment.

You walked out of the bedroom and headed toward the kitchen. You were surprised to find that some food was already there waiting for you to heat it up. You saw a note on the counter next to it. 

'Goodmorning, (Y/n)!

It's just me, Lila. I knew that you didn't have any food, so I went shopping and got a few things for you to eat. It was the least I could do. I hope I didn't get anything your allergic to or that you don't like. Anyway, have a good morning and just call the front desk if you need me!

-Lila' 

You smiled at the note. She was a sweet girl. You heated up the food she'd left you and ate your breakfast as you thought about what you were going to do. Now that you had some time to think, you weren't sure what you wanted. You wanted to make up with Connor...but...you weren't ready to go back. 

You thought about what you could do. You had one idea, but you weren't sure if it would work. You sighed. I don't have many other good options. You hoped that Lila would be willing to do one last thing for you. You'd need her in order for your plan to work.

You weren't going to do it right away though. You wanted to rest and you wanted to get comfortable in the apartment Lila had so generously given you. Without having to pay for the apartment and while making the executive decision not to go get your car or rent a different one while you were away from home, you had plenty of money to last you a while. You did the calculations in your head. If I use my money sparingly...I could stay here for at least a month without having money trouble. 

You finished your breakfast and you went to properly clean yourself. You took the bandage around your head off and took a nice long shower. It was what you needed to wake yourself up and have a good start to the day. You knew that people were looking for you. You also knew that Cass could find you. You had found her tracking piece when you'd been more android-like. A self-scan had alerted you. You turned off the tracker so she couldn't find you. You didn't want her spilling where you were. You weren't ready to see anybody.

Once you'd finished showering, you dried off and you put the PJ's Lila had lent to you back on. You needed actual clothes and that was why you needed Lila. You called the front desk.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Lila."

"(Y/n)! You're up! Thank god! I was starting to worry. You've been asleep most of the day." You checked the time. Aaaaand it's almost noon. Of course. 

"Yeah, sorry. It was a...long night. Anyway, I hate having to ask for this, but...do you have any clothes for me to wear?" You heard her chuckle.

"Check the top bedroom door. I put a few outfits in there for you." You smiled slightly.

"Lila, you're a lifesaver. Thank you so much for helping me. Really, I'll never be able to repay you for this."

"Don't worry about that. I have to do a few things before my lunch break. I don't need to eat, but with the laws in place, androids are allowed breaks too so it's nice having some time. I'll come and spend it with you today, okay?" You smiled.

"Thank you, Lila." 

"You're welcome." She hung up and you went to the bedroom again. You pulled out on of the three outfits she'd gotten you.

"This is good for just around the house, well, the apartment I should say." You pulled on the baggy t-shirt and shorts. They fit nicely and you went to go watch TV. You saw that Lila had given you her Netflix password. This girl is too much! The note said to create your own profile so the two don't get mixed up.

You happily did and turned on one of your favorite shows. You watched it, but your heart sank as you thought about Connor. You both loved watching this together. You sighed heavily. What am I going to do now? I...I can't live here forever, but...I'm not ready to see him again, Not after... You shuddered as you remembered the look he'd given you. It scared you. You had never thought Connor capable of such anger. He...he didn't even seem like himself. It was like he was a different person. He'd actually reminded you of Shane in that moment. 

You shook it off. It didn't matter. You needed time away and if you had to drop off the map to do it, then so be it. You were glad that nobody would look for you here. It was a completely random place to look and people were probably going to look for you in places where you were the safest like New Jericho or maybe your brother's place. I'm hidden here, I have help, and I'm safe. You gently traced the little bump on your stomach through the shirt. WE'RE safe here. It might not have been what you wanted, but you weren't going to take it out on the child you now had responsibility for. You would protect them. I don't think I'll ever be the mother you deserve, but I'll be what we both need to get through this. I promise.

You laid back on the couch, hands on your stomach as you relaxed again. You closed your eyes with a sigh. You weren't tired, but a serene feeling came over you as if something was telling you to just lay there. Whether you were going to think or sleep didn't matter. Rest was what called to you and you listened. I'll be what you need.