When I arrived in Florida sometime in the morning I spotted Luke waiting outside the airport gate, he had a bouquet of roses and a box of chocolate in one hand, whilst his eyes hovered around for me desperately.
My first instinct was to turn around and leave. I couldn't believe after so much running, I ended up back here, in the same spot, the exact same spot I left him all those months ago, how's this happening? standing here it feels like I didn't leave at all, like I've just been walking in circles.
Luke noticed I had stood still and started walking towards me.
I wiped my tears and made my way to him, we met at some point, "Cuddles." He took my bag and hugged me, "I'm really glad you're home."
I hauled away and started hitting him in anger, "How dare you steal my kids!? Who gave you the right to take them away from me?" My voice was loud, people started turning and staring.
"Let's not do this here." He gritted to my hearing, old habits. I remember how he hated revealing his imperfection in public, "Come, let's get you home." He escorted me to the parking lot and into the car, I was so dismayed to notice he purchased a new car, I didn't even speak to him. "Buckle up."
I don't respond,
sighing, he reached and fastened me up like a child.
I leaned back on the leather chair and looked away from him,
"Curdles, I swear this time things are going to be different."
I didn't say anything.
I should have mentioned I only came to get the kids, I have no plans of staying, that I also want a divorce.
I planned to tell him immediately but I didn't, not only because he would crush me to shreds but because I didn't know how to say it to his face.
We arrive at a house, a sort of Baker-Haigh-Nimocks house in a peculiar neighborhood, "Where are we?" It might have been a while but I still remember where we lived and it's definitely not here, the man I married wouldn't be caught dead living in a neighborhood like this, especially one with a lot of neighbors and prying eyes.
"You always wanted to live in a community, so I got us a new house in the city, do you like it?" He smiled.
"I have no words." I really didn't, "Right now I just want to see my kids." I got out of the car and waited for him to walk me through it.
When we got inside the house was empty, it was a beautiful house but that wasn't the problem, "Where are the boys?"
Luke placed the bag away and turned to me,
"They are safe."
"Where are they then Luke? I want to see them." I demanded in panic.
"Jane, I know you're just here to grab the boys and leave me again, I can't have that. So I kept the boys somewhere safe, just until I'm able to trust that you have genuine intentions, in the meantime, you are only allowed to speak on the phone."
He dials a number in a bonner phone and hands it to me.
"How dare you--" I start and halt when I hear my baby's voice.
"Mamma!"
"I would leave you." Luke excused himself with my things.
I held in my breath for a while before stepping outside to talk, "Baby, I miss you so much, how are you?" my lips trembling with sobs.
"We are okay, Mamma. Dad got us a lot of toys." I converted my mouth with my hands to prevent myself from howling.
"D-do you know where you are?"
"No, there's an old lady living with us, her name is grandma Rose, she's really nice. But I miss you, mamma."
"I-I miss you too, how's Joseph?" I almost choked.
"He's asleep, he misses you too, Mamma."
"I-I miss you both very much, and I promise I would come get you, you just have to stay strong for me baby." I tried not to cry, but when I finally hung up I was a mess.
When I was done shrieking I went inside, I managed to get myself to the kitchen where Luke was fixing something, the entire room was oozing and the dinning table was decorated almost nicely.
I try not to put meaning to it,
"I need to stop by mamma's."
"Do that tomorrow, you just got home, you need rest." Luke said turning to me.
"I'm fine.."
"I insist, Jane." He came and pulled me to a chair, "I prepare this special meal for you, it's avocado pasta, I know how much you like it."
He served me a plate.
"Now eat."
I pushed the plate away in disgust, "There is no way I'm sitting here and playing house with you when my kids apprehended somewhere, so until I see my children, I'm not touching anything you make, I might as well starve in here." I stood to my feet to leave, "And, you can stand here and pretend all you want but this still doesn't change anything between us, I'm never getting back with you, so you can stop with whatever this is." I turn to leave.
"Jane." He stopped me, "You know I'm only doing this because I want us to be a family again.." He told me and paused for a moment, "Curdles, remember when we used to dance all night, when I used to hold you in my arms and you would fall asleep. I miss hearing you laugh, Jane--"
I laughed and played along.
"Remember the first week you laid your filthy hands on me, when I used to plead with you not to hurt me, when I used to hide out in the bathroom afraid that I might not make it to sunrise--"
"Jane, I want to make things right."
"You can start by telling me where you took my kids."
"They are my kids too, you think I would put them in harm's way, for what, Jane. You think I'm capable of hurting our kids."
"I don't know what you are capable of Luke, I lost complete faith in you a long time ago."
"How do I make it right? I want a second chance, another chance to fix us."
I grab a glass and smash to the floor to his surprise.
"You can start by fixing that."
He clenched tightly,
"You can't, right? Even if you glue them together one by one you can still see the cracks, it might still hold water and fulfil its purpose but at some point it would crumble. That's because it's broken forever and you can't heal a broken glass, even if you say sorry a million times."
"That's how you feel."
"That's what you've made of me, you've turned me into this mirage of myself. I might look alive but right now I'm barely breathing with a broken heart that is still beating."
"Allow me heal you." Said the the source of my pain.
"Just get my kids." I left.
"I'll make you laugh again, Jane." I heard him whisper as I walked away.
