"It's nice to see you luke." my therapist for almost 6 years said. I started seeing Dr. Basil when everything became unbearable and I just had to break it out to someone.
Luke nodded at her with a warm smile, while holding my hand,
"So what seems to be the problem?" She looks at me and then at Luke, both of us don't say anything, waiting for the other to speak first, "Okay, so usually when I get couples visit like this, it's more often because the passion is off, is that the case here?"
I let out a chuckle, "Passion is definitely not our problem, if it is maybe because there's too much of it."
She stares at us scantly, "How do you mean?"
I pursed my lips and glanced briefly at Luke, before speaking, "Luke and I love each other so very greatly, it's unquestionable how much we love one another.." I pause a bit and look at him, "And.. hmm, I just think maybe we... Hmmm, that maybe things get a little intense."
"Intense how?"
"We...hmm... Argue a lot, we scream and say things we don't mean, there are...a lot of anger between and sometimes it gets difficult to control."
"When you mean anger and intensity, do you mean in a violence sense?"
"No.." I cleared quickly, "I mean emotional..hmm...its strong." I partly lied.
I can't be specific, Luke won't like that very much.
She lifts her eyes from me to Luke, "Do you share the same thoughts?" She asked him and he nods. "Usually in cases like these arguments lead to sex, is that the case here?"
Luke sighed and answered, "Yeah, after we argue we very often have sex."
"You mean make love?"
"I don't know if you would call it making love." he glanced swiftly at me, "It's very intense, there seems to be a lot of rage and anger in between."
"Where do you think all these rage come from?"
He snickered, "I don't even know how to begin to answer that question."
She shifted in her seat, "Try, we have time."
Luke took a deep breath, muttering. "I guess I'm afraid of losing her." he whispered.
I look at him,
"That's perfectly normal... But why do you feel that way?" She asks him and let out an obvious laugh,
"Are you serious? Look at her, she's fucking gorgeous.." he said and I reddened, "She can have any man she wants and if she's not happy with me there would be a line of a thousand men waiting to take my place and lately it doesn't seem like she's happy with me and...it terrifies me." He lowers his tone on the last. "I mean from the start I knew she would just go right through me."
I didn't know he felt that way.
"Luke-" the therapist held up her hand, stopping me.
"What do you mean by go through you?" She asks him.
"Perhaps outgrow me, or figure me out or something. I always had the sense that a day would come where she would leave me. I guess that's why I'm constantly looking out for evidence or signs."
"Evidence that she doesn't love you anymore?" She asks him and he nodded. I won't say I was shocked by his revelation but I'm surprised.
The therapist then lifts her eyes to me, "Jane, how do you feel about what he just said?"
I gasped, looking at Luke.
"Honestly, I'm surprised you would think that I don't love you. Luke, I gave up my career once for you, just so you would be happy. I withdrew from my family and friends, I'm continuously lying and covering up for you, and you think I don't love you..."
