I put the kids to bed and then turning to leave I bumped into Andy standing in the hall.
I quickly closed it and faced him.
"How's Joseph? I heard he isn't feeling very well." He asked.
"Joseph is fine, don't worry the boys and I would be out in the morning." I answered as I walked away.
He snickered lightly,
"Jane, that's ridiculous."
"We've clearly overstayed our welcome."
"Jane, wait." He stopped me from walking.
I exhaled, and tried not to react, the man was getting on my last nerve.
"What's it you want from me, Andy?"
"Where would you go?"
"Anywhere away from you." I snapped.
I almost got away from here but then it started pouring and Joseph got sick, so I'm stuck with this lunatic.
"Jane, I'm sorry..." He started, "I shouldn't have--"
"You tried to rape me." I yelled out.
His eyes widened.
"Woah, Is that what you think!" I tried to push him away but he held me in one place. "Jane, I only did that to get a reaction from you, I never meant it to hurt you, you have to believe me."
"Get out of the way!"
He kept me in place,
"Jane, this doesn't only affect you, it also affects the people around you, you think the boys don't know you are miserable, you think they don't sense something is wrong. Jane, I panic every time you take your time in the bathroom because I'm afraid one day I might walk in there and see you've slit your wrist."
"I'm not suicidal.." I hit him,
"You can't tell until you at least admit you have a problem. You need help, Jane."
I look away from him, afraid to admit he was right, I might be losing my mind.
"Come, I want to show you something." He took my hand and led me up the rooftop, "You can see everything from up here." He helped me up and I took myself around. I tried not to react or awe but it had the most heartwarming sight I ever could imagine.
"You could really see the entire city from here, it's beautiful."
"I take it you didn't know we had a magical rooftop?" He muttered breaking me from whatever trance I was in,
"I didn't actually." I admitted.
"Do you like it?"
I gave him a tentative nod.
"I thought you might."
The side of his mouth quirked up with contentment as he led somewhere to sit, "I wanted to show you what you've been missing just keeping to yourself."
"It's nice, thanks."
I averted my gaze from him and stared awkwardly out the city, pulling my bottom lip in between my teeth and chewing on the sensitive skin as I became uncomfortable.
Andy who always had a lot to say seemed to be swept away in the valley of his own thoughts, with his elbows perching onto his knees as he ran the tips of his thumbs across his bottom lip contemplatively.
The awkwardness stretched by the second.
"I assume you've been married ten years." He broke through the silence, not exactly the topic I was hoping to start out here, way to ruin the moment.
"I-I'm tired." I got up, "I should get some sleep--"
I barely even made it to the stairs when arms yanked me stopping me abruptly.
"Those light marks on your skin," He continued, taking a beat in the middle to swallow the disdain rising in his throat. "They were from him, right?"
"I'm not doing this with you again!" I got his hands off me. I didn't like talking about it, or sharing these feelings with someone other than myself, especially a stranger, "I'm going to say this once, my marriage, my husband, none of it is your business, so stop!"
He cocked his head to the side as he detached his stare from my own, his mouth twisting with disgust and fury. "Why, Jane." His tone gets softer, "Why would you even defend a man like that?"
"Because I love him," I responded without skipping a beat,
"You love him?" Horror read in his tone, "Present?"
"Yes, present."
His brows furrowed in annoyance,
"If you love him so much, why are you here? Why are you running from him?"
"I dunno.." I sigh, "I guess love wasn't enough anymore, I needed security, protection. After I watched a friend of mine die...it dawned on me that could be me someday in a casket, that I might die alone. So one morning I packed up and left him, but running doesn't mean you stop feeling, I can't just stop loving him, it's impossible."
"I'm glad you made that decision, Jane. Leaving him was the best decision you made, for you and your kids, but what's the point of running when you can't let go, I mean how can you still have feelings for a man like that? A man who has no respect for women."
"Luke has his issues, but he's not all bad, he is a good father, the best father in fact."
"I don't see why you are here if you feel that way about him."
"I left to protect myself, to protect my boys. At the time I honestly believed things would be better once I got away from him, I thought I would feel happier, while in fact, I feel miserable, hopeless, like a piece of me has just been ripped out and left behind. I never learned not to depend on Luke and that's become a problem, Luke was my strength and now I have nothing without him."
"He's sure done a fine job one you." He snickered.
I sigh, "You think I'm crazy."
He exhaled and shook his head,
"No Jane. I think you are an extraordinary woman, the feistiest woman I have ever met, how you fought through that without breaking down completely is beyond me, but Jane." He raised my chin to him, "You must realize that Luke is not your strength, you don't need him to live..."
"You don't know that."
"I know, you are so much more than you give yourself credit for, you have a lot of passion and good inside of you, you're a black, strong, independent woman, not to mention ridiculously beautiful--"
"Who would want this?" I whispered out, my tone dripping with vulnerability, "I'm damaged goods, I might probably end up alone, at least Luke loved me."
Andy stared at me with sadness, perhaps pity in his eyes.
"Trust me, I can think of one man who wants you in more ways than you could ever imagine, Jane."
