Only You - [Lip Gallagher]

[fun]eral

"Gotta love these half days." Ian says as he, Mandy, Lip and I walk home from school, "Good thing public education is broke." Mandy says, "Yeah, waste of time." Lip says, taking my backpack from me, "I hate school." I complain, "Only thing those people are equipped to teach is how to live with disappointment." Lip wraps his arm around me, "Hey wanna catch a movie later?" Mandy asks Ian, changing the subject, "Uh, I can't gotta be at work by 3." Ian explains, "Nice jacket, Kash?" Lip snarks, "Thanks." Ian says. "Hey." A random man calls to us, and we turn, "Yeah, I'm talking to you." He says and walks to us, "Yes?" Lip asks, "You got a phone?' The man asks. "Your truck break down?' Lip asks, the man rolls his eyes, "No, genius, I like standing in a shitty neighborhood with my dick in my hands." The man scoffs, "I'm already two hours late on my delivery, my kid drained my battery playing doodle jump and my wife took my charger, listen, I'll give you five bucks if you let me use your phone." I tap Lip's leg indicating I got this, "I'm sorry sir, we aren't allowed to have phones, our dad says not until we're eighteen." I say innocently, "But, there is a bar about 10 blocks that way called uh, O'Flaherty's and if you tell them your family is from County Cork they'll let you use their phone." I quickly come up with a lie so we can get into that man's truck, "10 blocks?" The man complains, "Maybe 5, straight shot." Ian says, the man sighs and reaches into his pocket, "This is yours if you watch my truck for me." He says, "Five bucks? Wow, thank you mister, that is so cool!" I say innocently again and he winks at me before storming off. "Good fucking shit." Mandy says as she hands Lip her phone, "Yo, Kev forty-third and Halstead. Bring a crowbar." Lip says straight to the point and hangs up. "Where did you learn that?" Lip asks as we wait for Kev, "I'm short, blonde, and a girl, the innocent voice always works." I shrug, "It sure does." Lip mutters and Kev shows up in his truck with V followed by Steve with Fiona, Debs, and Carl. – Kev and Lip quickly get to work on opening the truck to finally reveal pounds of beef, "Holy shit." Lip says and he and Kev get into the back of the truck to unload all of the meat, handing it out to the neighborhood and taking most of it for ourselves.

++

After spending all afternoon hacking up pounds and pounds of beef, we finally get to relax. Fiona is at a hotel for the night, Liam is at Sheila's and I cooked steak for Lip, Debs, Carl, and myself; it's going to be a good night I think and just as I finish my thought, Frank walks in.

"What happened to you?" Lip asked with a mouthful, "Oh, a huge guy jumped me. Two eighty, two ninety, steroids; who knows." Frank explains, "Good for him." Lip slyly says, "I need your help." Frank says, "I got maybe two bucks." Debbie starts, "No, no, no. Show of hands, how many of you at one point or another wanted to see me dead?" Frank asks and Lip, Carl, and Debs raise their hands, "Yes! Here's your chance!" Frank says excitedly, "What?" I ask, "Two guys are after me, if they think I'm dead they'll go away, help me plan my funeral." Frank explains, we shrug and go collect things we'd need for a funeral.

"Go get Kev, you two need to steal a hearse with a casket in it." I explain to Lip as we walk into Kev and V's house. "Come on Kev, we need you, we're stealing a hearse. " I say nonchalantly, "What for?" V asks, "Planning Frank's fake funeral, uh, do you have any access to strong sedatives you know to knock Frank out?" I ask V, she nods and quickly uses her cell to call someone. "I have a meeting with the foster people in twenty minutes, Sadie, you know medicine right?" V asks, I nod, "I'll have you meet with the guy, get Frank the strongest thing you can. I told him to go to the Gallaghers' he's usually quick. You got it?' She asks, I nod, "Good luck with your foster kid meeting." I say to her before going back to the Gallaghers. "Frank, where are you? we're getting you drugs." I call to him as I walk back into the house and Frank comes running, "What kind?' He asks giddily, "You'll see." I say and pat his shoulder.

After not even five minutes there is a knock on the door and then it opens, "Sorry, couldn't wait out there I'm carrying heavy drugs." The nerdy guy says, setting up at the table, Frank follows him closely like a starving puppy, "So, what are you looking for?" he asks, opening up his case, "Jesus, Mary and Joseph." Frank mutters as he stares at all of the drugs, "Uh, Tetrodotoxin." I say, "Um, Zombie drug, I'd need a week." He says, "He needs something now." I say, "Roofie?" he offers, "I don't want to rape him, I just need him knocked out. Um, horse tranq?" I ask, "Can I try a sample of that?' Frank interrupts and points to something, "No free samples!" The guy shouts, "Where did you learn your trade!?" Frank shouts then turns to me, "Never go on stage without a dry run." He advises me, I furrow my eyebrows and turn back to the guy, "Tranq? Um, enough to knock out a Clydesdale, Frank's a professional." I ask again, he nods, "Check his pockets before you go." I mutter to the guy as I take the tranquilizer from him.