Only You - [Lip Gallagher]

pick me. pick me.

Liam walks downstairs behind Xan, holding his stomach with both arms, "No, absolutely not. Get ready for school." Lip says and Liam groans, "Can you just homeschool me?" Liam looks to me, "Why? What happened?" "Nothing! I'm learning nothing and public school is gross." Liam complains, "Told you." I wave my finger in Lip's face as he packs Liam and Xan their lunches. "All the cool people got homeschooled!" Liam continues, "Abe Lincoln, Leonardo DiVinci!" "Listen, if I could homeschool you, I would." "Why can't you?" "Because you sadly need socialization at your age or else you'll end up a weirdo. Go get dressed." I say and tap his chin, "Fine." He groans and storms upstairs. "Good job." Lip says, "Been doing it seven years." "Only seven? Feels like so much longer." "Three twenty seven eleven." I say and a small smile appears on his face, "What's that?" Xan asks as she reaches for the coffee maker, "No coffee. Milk or juice." Lip fathers, "It's the day we got together." Lip explains, "And you're still not married or anything?" Xan asks, pouring herself juice. "Lip has had some stuff going on in his life but we've worked through it and we're content as friends." I explained, "Totally not what he said." She instigates as she drinks her juice, "Goodbye! Have a good day at school!" Lip shoos her out, taking her cup and handing her her lunch.

"What did she mean?" I ask, "Liam! Let's go!" Lip avoids the question. Liam mopes down the stairs and grabs his brown paper bag lunch, "I love you, have a good day." I say to him, kissing his forehead. "I'd have a better day actually learning something." Liam mutters as he leaves the house. "I feel bad." I pout as Liam leaves, "He'll be fine." Lip brushes his problems to the side. "So, what was Xan talking about?" "Carl, you done with those dogs yet?" Lip calls down to Carl in the basement, "It's in God' hands now!" Carl calls back up and Lip groans, "What is it with my brothers and God lately?" He mutters as he cleans up his lunch mess. "Lip, stop ignoring me!" I demand, grabbing both his wrists to stop him from cleaning. "What did she mean?" I ask once more, he avoids eye contact, "Lip." I repeat and we meet each others' eyes, "What?" I ask and he sighs, "I was telling her how much I miss you and love you that's all and it really doesn't matter because you deemed us unfixable." He says, pulling his wrists away gently. "I deemed US unfixable? I did that?" I chuckle in shock. "I can't even count on two hands how many bitches you've cheated on me with and not to mention a few days ago you basically fucked someone in front of me." I exclaim, "We aren't together so that doesn't count." Lip answers pathetically. "Oh my fucking God I want to kill you." I groan and storm upstairs, "Maybe you should!" He calls up before I slam our door shut and begin my work for the day.

"Sade, Debs never came home last night. Can you watch Franny? I have to work." Lip asks through the door, my quick typing fills the room, "Yup, bye." I answer not taking my eyes off my laptop screen. "I'm gonna leave this open so you can hear her." Lip says, opening the door. "Whatever, bye." I keep my same composure. I feel his eyes stare at the back of my head for a couple minutes before I hear his boots walk away. Finally.

++

"Sadie! Sadie!" I hear Debbie shout as she runs up the stairs, "What's wrong?" I ask, spinning in my chair to face the door as she hurries in and closes it behind her, "Hi Franny baby, mommy missed you." She coos at Franny sitting in my bed playing with her toys and eating her lunch. "Anyway. I think I'm lesbian and in love with a woman who looks like a dude." She blurts out and my eyes widen, "How did this come about?" "While I was protesting someone who I thought was a dude but wasn't, she's just pretending so she doesn't get a pay cut which is so valid and I wish I thought of that but she helped me retaliate and we had sex, good, good, great sex and she made me waffles with fresh strawberries and I love her." She rambles, "Well, congrats for coming out and congrats on the good, good, great sex." I smile, "Wait, retaliate how?" I ask, slightly concerned. "Oh, we just welded some metal dicks on the cars of the dicks who hate women." She smiles innocently, "Weld one on your brother's head for me later, will you?" I ask, turning back around in my chair to finish my work. "Franny woke up around nine thirty. I fed her some pancakes and she ate half an apple and now she's eating some chicken nuggets, fries and blueberries." I explain as I continue to type. "What's going on with you and Lip?" She asks, "He's just a dick. I don't even know why I care anymore." I huff, "Because you care about all of us, him included." Debbie says, "I'm sorry he treats you like shit. You don't deserve it. We really love you around, at least I know I did and always will so doesn't Franny, right Franny?" "Yeah!" Franny exclaims and I laugh softly, turning around to face the both of them sitting on my bed. "I love you all, I really do but I just wish I never fell IN love with him, you know?" I explain and she nods, "Tell me about it." She scoffs and rolls her eyes, "I don't regret Franny in any way but I do hate Derek and Matty and men. I hate men." Debbie comes to the conclusion. "Is that what the women kick is about? Or do you really like women?" I ask, genuinely. "I don't know. Sex with Alex last night and this morning but Matty had such a huge dick." Debbie reminisces. "Well, whatever you chose, I support you as long as you don't have Liam try to cut off your toes again. You could've just asked me for the money." I say, turning back around to continue my work. "I've been meaning to ask. You have all this money but you still live here, why? Totally not pushing you out, just curious." She asks and I take a moment; why do I live here? "I don't know. I mean Carl asked me to stay that one time I tried to move out, maybe that's why?" I answer, "Or maybe you still have a tini tiny bit of hope left for Lip?" Debbie asks and I hesitate again, yes. "No, totally over the hope thing, he'll never change." "Liar." She sings and leaves my room with Franny, "I'm not lying!" I shout to her. Yes I am. I need Lip to just tell me we're back together and give me no other choice but actually change his manipulative, toxic ways. I NEED that. I yearn for that. I need to get over it. He'll never change.

++

"Thanks for dinner." Liam says softly to me, "Of course. I know the whole public school thing isn't easy for you and I'm proud of you for going today." I smile at him and pat his head. "How are you liking it?" Fiona asks, "It's boring. I hate it. I'm sure somewhere needs a token black kid, can you keep calling?" He begs, "Yes, I'll keep calling everyday." Fiona chuckles and suddenly Debbie comes into the house with Franny in tears, "Debs, what's wrong?" I ask, "Alex and I broke up. I'm moving back in." She sobs. "You moved out?" Ian asks, "Who's Alex?" Carl asks and I sigh, "I got it." I stand up and follow her upstairs.

"What happened?" I ask softly, "I was ranting to Alex about how much I hate men and then she seemed to get uncomfortable and told me I need to leave because she can't date a straight again but I told her I'm most likely gay and it's just all new to me." She says in between sniffled sobs. "I'm sorry." I hug her, "You're new to this dating thing with the girls and if it's meant to be it'll happen. Maybe not with Alex but you can't give up, it was only a couple days right? You'll recover, I know you will." I tap her chin lightly, "You think?" "I know you will. You're strong, brave, I mean shit you gave birth and cut off toes on the kitchen table I would've been sobbing like a little bitch." I joke which makes her chuckle lightly. "Good, there's that smile. Come down and eat, okay?" "No, I'm not that hungry and Franny ate. I think we just need to go to bed." She says, unstrapping Franny from her stroller. "Let me know if you need anything." I say before kissing her forehead, "I love you and I love you Franny." I coo at her before shutting her door lightly, walking downstairs. "Where's Lip and Xan?" I ask Ian as he clears the table, "Lip stepped out and Xan said she was ready for bed." Fi explains as she puts on her jacket, "Thanks for dinner, Sade." Fi says before kissing my temple, "Love you guys, I'm out." Fiona dismisses herself before leaving. "Lip was going to see Xan's mom." Ian mutters to me and I let out a deep exhale, "He's lost it." I mutter.

++

"Why did you let her leave?" Lip comes in the room and asks me with angry tears in his eyes, "What?" I ask, slightly confused. "Xan. She followed me and found her mom because I was offering her some money to give me guardianship of Xan." He explains, "And she picked her mom, right?" I ask and he rubs his face, "Not the fucking point, Sadie!" He yells at me. "She has a right to choose!" I argue. "Why did you let her leave? To fuck with me?" He exclaims, "No I was helping Debbie! She was upset. It's not my job to cater to a child you want to smother for your own mental illnesses! I love Xan I really do and I feel bad for her but you need to let her live. She wants to be with her mom, let her!" I argue back, "The fuck is wrong with you?" "You! You Lip, you're what's wrong with me!" I yell. I haven't ever raised my voice this loud, especially not at him. "You good?" Carl storms into the room, Ian and Debbie right behind. "Yeah, fine." "Come here." Ian says, grabbing my bicep gently leading me into Fiona's old room which has now become his. "What the fuck happened?" He asked closing the door. "I guess Xan caught him trying to give her mom money so she can sign over her parental rights. I told you, he's too involved! I told you something insane would happen. Does he think basically adopting her is gonna win me over? Prove he's responsible? Because it's doing the complete opposite. He can barely take care of himself most days." I ramble and Ian just listens. This is what I needed. I needed a good venting session with Ian; just like old times. I miss my old Ian, I wish he could come back to me more often but I appreciate his small visits. They mean the world to me. How could I ever leave?