Only You - [Lip Gallagher]

Nightmare on North Wallace

It's been seven months since Fiona moved out, which means Tami is eight months almost nine and ready to pop. It hasn't gotten any easier but I'm managing. The most annoying part of it all is hearing Lip and Tami fuck every. single. day and night. He has his own room now; he's in Debs' old room, Debs is in Fi's old room and Liam and Carl share the big boys room but since Carl is back at school, Liam has been alone in his room and he most definitely has enjoyed that.

"Jesus Christ." I mutter as I hear Tami moaning, "They need to shut the fuck up." Debbie groans as she chucks dirty towels down the chute. "At least she can do is clean up after herself." I roll my eyes, picking up her heels and putting them out of the walkway. "I'm throwing all their shit outside. Anything left in the hallway, a public space, will be outside." Debbie says, grabbing Tami's heels and Lip's work boots. "Harsh, I like it." I smile at her.

"Liam, are you done?" I ask from outside the bathroom, "No, I need a break from this cracker barrel and this is my only time." He says, "Well, breakfast will be ready shortly. Sausage and eggs." I inform him, "I no longer eat the white man's swine." "Well, I can make your eggs and we can figure out a new protein for you, turkey bacon maybe?" "That would be nice, thank you." He peeks his head out of the door, "We'll go to the store later or I can give you some money to go pick out some new things that accommodate your new diet." I say and he smiles, "Thanks for being the only cracker in the house to care about me." He says before closing the door, my jaw left agape, "What the fuck?" I mouth to myself before heading downstairs. "Morning, Sadie." Tami says to me with a huge grin plastered on her face, "Hi Tami." I mutter before going downstairs. "Hi Franny." I say to her as she sits at the table playing with a toy, "Hi." She grins from ear to ear. "Where's mom?" I ask and she points to the bathroom, "Shoot." I try not to swear in front of her, she repeats everything. "Well, do you want your breakfast? Sausage and eggies?" I ask her and she nods so I begin cooking to try and distract myself from my bladder about to explode on me.

"Has anyone seen my gas mask?" Tami asks, "Or my work boots?" Tami and Lip ask as they come downstairs. "Anything that was left in the upstairs hallway can now be found outside!" Debbie announces. "Why? What the fuck!" Lip complains, "Because clutter does not belong in public spaces, keep the shit confined in your rooms." Debbie says before walking over to me, "Thanks for starting breakfast, I got it." Debbie takes over, "Liam, breakfast is almost ready." Debbie says to him as he walks downstairs, "He doesn't eat pork." I say as I rush into the bathroom.

Just as I finish, Tami opens the door, "Sorry, gotta pee bad and can't make it upstairs." She stands in front of me, bouncing from one foot to the other. I groan, quickly wiping and pushing past her. "Can you not let your baby mom come in there when I'm pissing?" I grimace and roll my eyes at Lip as I grab a plate of eggs and sit next to Franny. "She had to go, he's sitting on her bladder." He defends her, "I don't give a shit, she can go upstairs." I roll my eyes once more. "Are any of you coming to Carl's graduation today?" I ask, "Oh shit, that's today?" Lip asks and I nod, "Sorry, I can't miss work. Baby's coming soon." Lip says before leaving the house. "Debs?" "Can't, I have errands and some work to do today." She says as she feeds Franny." I huff, "Okay well, that's where I'll be today if anyone needs me." I say before going upstairs to get dressed.

++

I scan the uniformed crowd to see if I can spot Carl, I do and he looks miserable. He also hasn't called home in a couple weeks, the only reason I knew about graduation is because I got an email about it from the Academy.

"He looks depressed, doesn't he?" I mutter to Kelly, "Fuck yeah he does." "Thanks for coming, nobody else wanted to come." I thank her and she waves it off, "Of course, Carl is my friend and we're friends too." She smiles sweetly. "Carl Francis Hashish Gallagher." They call over the loudspeaker, they even used the middle name he swore nobody will ever find out. Kelly and I cheer as loud as we can for him, just so he knows someone is there for him.

After the graduation, Kelly and I make our way down to the swarm of new army graduates to find Carl. "I'm so proud of you." I say to Carl with a huge grin, hugging him, "Oh, what the hell happened to your face?" I ask, holding his face gently as I look at the toilet paper stuck to his face by blood. "Razors suck here." Carl says, giving me another hug and kissing my cheek. "Thanks for coming." He huffs before hugging Kelly and kissing her cheek as well, "Thanks for coming." He repeats. "Of course, no problem. I'm super proud you graduated" Kelly says. "What's wrong?" I ask him as I notice his demeanor is off. "Nothing but just get me the fuck outta here." He says and I nod, "Got it." I say, walking back to my car. "Carl and I are gonna take my truck but we'll see you later?" Kelly informs. "Condoms please, I don't need another niece or nephew." I tease as I get into my car, "No promises." Carl chuckles as he climbs into her truck and they drive off. Just as I go to put my car in drive I get a call from Lip. My heart drops out of my ass, this is it. This is the call. "Hello?" "Tami's having the baby, please come, I need you." He sounds like he's panicking. "I-I'll be there soon." I say before hanging up the phone. I don't leave right away, I begin to grieve again. I cannot believe that this is happening. Lip is having a son and it's not mine.

++

"Sorry I'm so late. Did she have him yet?" I ask Lip as he's in the waiting room, he nods. "What'd you name him?" I am screaming inside hoping it's not a name we liked together, god that would've killed me. "Fred Ronan Gallagher, but I think we're gonna call him Freddy." He answers, he looks like he's been crying. "Freddy? Like Krugar?" I ask, "Oh shit." Lip says, remembering the movie, our first time meeting, my dad. "It's fine." I say, "Totally over the movie thing." No I'm not. This movie just came to life. The love of my entire life just had a child and named him Freddy. Nightmare on fucking North Wallace. "Can you not gawk over your ex while my sister is in surgery? Asshole." Cami yells at him, "Tami's in surgery?" I ask and he nods, "Hemorrhaging, she had an emergency cesarean." Lip informs. "Shit. Fred is okay, right?" I ask, not worried about her at all. "Yes, very healthy." He smiles weakly. "Mr. Gallagher." A doctor calls, "Yes?" "Come with me, please." "Can I bring my, someone, please?" He asks and the doctor nods, hesitantly. His eyes quickly lock with mine, "Please?" I'm hesitant, "You should bring Cami or someone else." "This isn't about Miss Tamietti, we just need a parent in here for Fred." The doctor informs, "Sadie." He repeats my name, I can feel all of Tami's family shooting daggers at me with their eyes, "Okay." I huff and walk with Lip.

Watching Lip watch the nurse teach him how to swaddle is one of the most pure things I've ever seen. My heart is bursting with several emotions, anger, joy, sadness, envy. "Sit Lip." I say to him softly as the nurse holds Fred. Once Lip sits the nurse gently places him in his arms, I could vomit but I'm choking it down for Lip. "He looks like you." I say softly over his shoulder, "He's perfect." Lip doesn't take his eyes off of him. My whole body begins to tremble from the inside out, "I gotta go, Lip." I choke out as vomit and tears creep up my throat. "Sadie, please don't." He begs, "I-I can't be in here anymore." I begin to back out of the room, my hand shoots up to my mouth before I speed walk out of the room, past her whole family and out to my car where I just let it all come out. Vomit and tears begin pouring out of me, I finally snapped, I'm at my breaking point. This is real.

"Oh my god." I hear V run up to me, "Are you okay?" She asks and I wave her and the whole family away. "Go support Lip, because I can't do it." I sob, "He really needs it, please go help him." I managed to get out through the tears as I leaned up against the side of my car.

I'm living my worst nightmare.