Only You - [Lip Gallagher]

delicacy

"Hey." I speak softly once Ian walks through the heavy chain linked gate towards me, "What's wrong?" He asks, giving me a hug and kissing my temple, "Nothing, I'm fine." I lied, "Sadie, cut the shit." He chuckles before sitting down, I sit across from him, "It's just the whole baby thing. Lip is basically a single dad because Tami is in the hospital still and it hurts seeing him so helpless but it also hurts he's someone else's baby daddy." I ramble on before rolling the tears back and waving it off, "But it's not important, I came to visit you and check on you, not me." I changed the topic, "I have a parole meeting on the tenth." He sighs, "Why are we sighing? This is a good thing!" I smile and grab his hands gently, "Mickey doesn't want me to go and I don't want to leave him." Ian answers, "Ian." "I still haven't decided, we're arguing right now and I think I need to get away from him but I crave him when I'm away from him." "You need him like water, right?" I ask and he nods and I let out a breathy sigh, "I'm in the same situation at home. I want to leave but Lip doesn't want me to. He wants me to stay home while he moves out." "Why are we so in love with crazy?" Ian tries to lighten the mood, "I'm gonna blame James and Monica for that one." I tease back, making him softly laugh. It's always so good to see Ian when he's healthy, I miss him so much. I really need him home.

++

My head quickly looks over my shoulder as I hear familiar footsteps before a soft knock on my door. "Hey, uh, you think I can borrow some cash? The debit cards Debs gave us aren't working." Lip asks me quietly. "Mine is working?" I question, grabbing my purse and digging for my card, "Yeah well your credit never got fucked up like all of ours." He sounds slightly passive aggressive. "Why are you taking it out on me?" I ask, holding my Gallagher fund issued card in my hands, "Sorry, it's just my visit with Tami was shitty today and I couldn't get diapers and my card declined when I tried to buy flowers." He rambles, "You were going to buy Tami flowers? How sweet." I grow slightly passive aggressive. "No, but that's irrelevant. Can I borrow some cash for diapers?" "Uh, just keep my card. Pin is 0327." I choke out, a soft smile grows on his face, "That's my pin too." He sniffles, reaching for my card gently. "I'll give this back." "Don't worry about it. I have my own with my own money on it. Gallagher money should be used on a Gallagher, not me." I explain, "You're a Gallagher too." He says, tapping my chin. "Hey, uh, not that it's any of my business but, why was the Tami visit shitty?" I ask and he huffs, "She hates kids and her maternal thing didn't kick in. She also hates his name and is pissed that I didn't name him Gabriel but I couldn't do that." The name pierces my heart; that was our name. "It'll kick in soon. She has to actually spend time with him." I reassure him and he taps my card onto his hand, "I'll give this back." "Don't. It's fine. I don't need it or use it." I smile softly at him before he backs out of my room and rushes into his. God I want to kill myself. 

++

Later that night I jolt awake, drenched in my own sweat. I had a dream about my dad and Lip; fucking Freddy Krugar–Gallagher. I let out a long sigh before slipping into my slippers and walking down to the kitchen for some water. "Hey, you okay?" Lip whispers, startling me, making me spill water all over my white shirt, "Shit." I mutter, putting my glass down and crossing my arms in front of me before turning towards him, "Yeah, fine. Just thirsty." I answer. "You're sweating." He steps closer to me, pushing loose strands of hair behind my ears. "Lip, I'm fine." I push his arm away with one of mine, keeping my chest covered. "Bad dream?" He asks. "No, I'm fine." I say, pushing past him, "Sade," He grabs my wrist, "What's going on." He looks me deeply into my eyes, "I-I think I hear Fred crying." I stutter–I'm folding. "No he's not." He pulls out a baby monitor from the waistline of his pajama pants, "Lip, I want to go back upstairs. Please." I beg softly. His grip tightens around my dainty wrist, "Please." I repeat as my heart and stomach flutter, his eyes shifting between my eyes and lips, "Sorry." He snaps out of his daze, letting me go and turning away from me, leaning against the counter. I open my mouth to speak but I can't, I know if I do it won't end well for either of us. "Goodnight." I mutter before I hurry upstairs. "You okay?" Carl whispers in a groggy tone, "Yeah, I'm fine babe, I just needed water." I explained to him, "I heard Lip." He yawns, "It's fine." I explain just as Lip makes his way upstairs, we lock eyes for too long, "You sure?" He asks and I nod, "Yeah, go back to bed." I say before closing my door.

I spend the rest of the night tossing and turning, what just happened downstairs? Why did he hold me so tightly? I gently ran my fingers around my wrist, feeling where his fingers gripped. He's never held me like that, I didn't like it. It scared me.

The next morning I waited until everyone was out of the house before leaving my room, I didn't want to face Lip or Carl. Too many questions with not enough answers.

"Holy shit. Did you walk?" I ask in shock as I finally walk downstairs to see Tami walking into the front door. "Yeah. Lip didn't answer." "He's been out with his new mom friends lately. Sit down. How are you feeling?" "Shit. What mom friends are you talking about?" She asks and I shrug, it's like this mom AA group or some shit I'm not sure. They've been giving him lots of help with Fred. "God I hate that name." She snickers annoyed. "It's because of his professor. Clyde Fred Youens. He really loved him." I explain "I still think it's fucking stupid." She complains. "Hungry?" I ask, "No. Tired. I'm gonna go upstairs and sleep." "Okay, Lip will be home soon." I try to be civil, it was so fucking hard. I wanted to claw her eyes out or maybe even mine. I can't stay in this house right now.

My sleeve slips down my arm as I grip my steering wheel, revealing bruised fingerprints on my wrist, "Shit." I mutter as I stare at them before rotating my wrist, cracking the stiffness. My phone ringing breaks my stare, "Hello?" "Sade, where are you?"  I hear Lip's voice, "Uh, Mobil on Pulaski, why?" "Need me to come get your gas? "No, I'm just getting snacks. Uh, Tami's home." "Shit, when did she get there?" "Ten minutes ago, maybe." "Shit, how is she?" "Call her yourself." I say just as my finger hovers over the red button on my steering wheel. "Uh, sorry for last night." Lip says before my thumb presses the button, I don't want to talk about it. I sigh as I admire my wrist once more before going into the gas station to get snacks and a very large Dr. Pepper–I need my emotional support Dr. Pepper.

++

Going back to the Gallaghers was a shit show. Tami awkwardly trying to bond with her son and Carl hosting a family of thirty in the kitchen, Lip glancing at me every chance he gets as I hold my sleeves down and sip my Dr. Pepper and eat my ranch corn nuts. "You could've got me a snack." Lip tries to lighten the mood, I side eye him then quickly fix my eyes back onto the tv where Franny's show is playing. "This is my favorite one, titi!" Franny says with a mouthful of cheetos, "I know, we watch it every day!" I say in a happy tone even though I hated watching this same Clifford episode over and over again. God I fucking hated Clifford now. Franny says I look like Emily Elizabeth, that's why it's her favorite. It's cute but the same episode over and over makes me want to rip my hair out. Anything for my little girl though. "One second pretty girl." I dismiss myself once I feel my phone vibrate under my thigh. "Hello?" I answered, stepping away from the living room, "Would you like to accept these charges?" An automated line speaks, "Yes." "Sade?" I hear Ian's voice, "Hey, what's up? How'd the meeting go?" "I'm getting out in two days, can you come?" "Holy shit, yes! Oh my god, holy shit." I'm in pure shock, "You ok?" Lip asks, Carl walks into the room, I shoot my pointer finger up signaling them to wait, "Love you, see you then." Ian says, "I love you, holy shit." I'm shocked as I hang up the phone, "What?" Lip repeats, "Ian's coming home." I say with pure joy in my face, my baby is coming home!