fan-fucking-tastic

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"Surprise! It's me again, cousin Fiona. I was hoping  you could explain this eviction notice from the sheriff's department." Fiona speaks into the phone as she hands Lip and I a bright orange paper with bold letters on it, "Shit." I mutter and look up at Lip who now has a worrisome expression on his face. "Seventy two hours to vacate the premises." Lip reads. "Where is our flour?" Ian asks, completely out of context, "Uh, Debs took it to school the other day." I answer, "Yo, Chef Boyardee, any chance you can help Fiona deal with Patrick?" Lip asks Ian, "No, working later. What about cinnamon?" He continues on about his spices, "The hell?" "Making cookies." "Chocolate chip?" I ask, excitedly, "Not for you." "Then who?" I ask, "Mickey coming home?" I gasp, "No. The firemen who saved me the other day." "Saved you from what?" I grew worried, "I helped someone out of a burning car and I guess I inhaled too much smoke, passed out for a moment but I'm good." Ian explains, "Today isn't the day to thank them." Fiona scoffs as she pours milk into her coffee, "I bet the Hondurans have flour." He avoids the topic and walks out back. – Frank recently allowed a group of Hondurans to move out back, renting out the yard to them for extra cash. They're really nice and don't bombard us inside the house so I can't complain.

"We got into it at school and I think he's pissed at me." Lip says, "Please, he's been pissed at me for weeks." Fiona scoffs, "You talk to your cousin?" Sean asks, coming down and sits on the stairs to tie his shoes. "Gonna have to get in his face." Fiona huffs, "I'll drive you." Sean says with no hesitation, "You don't have to get involved." "I know." He smiles up at her, "You sure you don't need me?" Lip asks, "No, go on your trip. We have it handled." Fiona waves him off, "Trip?" I ask, "Academic conference with Youens." Lip says to me then pecks my lips, "Love you, bye guys." Youens at an academic conference? No fucking way. I tongue my cheek and begin to bounce my leg, "You alright, Sade?" Fiona asks and I nod, "Fantastic." I snark, "Fan-fucking-tastic." I mumble to myself as her and Sean leave.

++

Later that night, Fiona, Ian, Carl, Sean and I sat at the table to discuss what's next with this eviction. "Okay, so, we went to the bank and the house is being sold at auction but there's a chase that we could buy it." Fiona explains, "For the first time ever, it would be our house." Fiona sounds excited, "That's amazing but how much are we looking at?" I ask, "We need a downpayment of three thousand five hundred dollars in order for the bank to give us a one hundred thousand dollar loan." "Oh shit." "Someone is willing to give us one hundred grand? Why didn't we do this years ago?" Ian exclaims. "The bank doesn't just give you money. They actually are the ones to buy the house, let you live in it until you pay back the loan plus interest." Sean explains, "I have about two grand I can put towards it." I say just as Carl pulls out a large stack of cash, "Jesus Carl." I mutter, "Nah Sade, keep your money I got it." Carl says and starts to count his money "You just got out of jail and you have three thousand dollars?" Fiona asks, "Right." Carl says and hands her the money "No." Fiona denies, "I don't know how you two always have fucking money." Fiona rambles, "What, you don't believe me?" Carl asks, "I believe you I just don't want the state seizing our house cause we bought it with drug money or whatever it is you're into lately." Fiona complains "Let's not be hasty." Frank comes out of nowhere, "Then take mine." I exclaim, "No, I'm not making you fix a Gallagher problem. It's not fair." "Fiona, I live here too!" I argue, "I'm not taking your money, either of you." Fiona waves her finger in our faces and Carl storms upstairs with Nick on his tail.

"Why won't you take their money?" Ian asks, annoyed, "You never make things easier for anybody." He groans, "If you want to have a mortgage with your name on it then fine take Carl's money. But otherwise, we'll find another way" Fiona explains, "You can take my money." I repeat, "No, I don't even know how you always have thousands on you Sade." She chuckles in frustration, "Because I get paid to keep my mouth shut. I don't tell Jasmine's whole bullshit family about her bullshit life." I finally confess, "Like Jasmine Jasmine? What do you have on her?" Fiona asks, "She's my fucking sister." I say, then storming upstairs. I can't believe I just did that.

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