Only You - [Lip Gallagher]

all i wanted was you.

'I love you, but I know you don't love me. No matter how many friends tell me that I need to, I know I'm not going to leave, I'm never not going to love you. I'm never not going to run back to you as soon as you call. It's the little girl in me who still believes anything is possible, that's what they say right? Anything is possible. I hold onto the idea that it is possible you will love me more one day, because anything is possible, right?' I write in my journal that I haven't opened in months, I haven't needed to because everything was okay but now, it's back to ground zero.

++

"Debs you sure you don't need me to come?" "I want you to but Lip is coming." She mutters, "That's okay." I choke out, "Sadie," "Ready Debs?" Lip asks, "Yeah." She sighs then walks downstairs, "Hey, I got a new sponsor." Lip speaks softly to me, I nod and turn away. "You can't ignore me forever." He follows me, "I can because I'm moving out." "You're what?" Carl exclaims, "Why do you care about her so much?" Kassidi, his new girlfriend, says, "Hush." I shoo her off, "Why are you moving?" Lip asks, "Because I don't get it, right?" I snark and push past him, "We'll talk later, Carl." I call to him as I leave the house.

I bumped into the girl from the shop as I carried empty boxes to my shared room with Lip, "Watch where you're going." She snickers and I ignore her, continuing to walk into the room to see Lip naked, quickly covering himself. "That was quick." I mutter to myself as I throw all my stuff messily into my boxes. "Uh, need help moving anything into your place?" He asks and I shake my head, "Just moving back home, don't need your help." I couldn't bring myself to sell yet, but now it's time. Sell and move away from Lip. "What about your dad?" "He's not around." I keep it short, leaving the room carrying a box downstairs. "What do you mean, not around?" He follows me downstairs, shimmying into his sweats. "Just not around." I huff and place my box on the table. "What's going on?" Ian gets defensive, "Nothing just packing my stuff." I look at him with reassuring eyes; I'm fine. "Need help?" He asks and I nod, "Sure." I smile and hurry back upstairs, Ian following me. "Why are you moving out?" He mutters to me, "I don't want to live with Lip." "Then stay in my room, I can't lose you." Ian pleads as he slowly closes my box. "Ian, I'll be down the street." "Down the street and never here again." Carl says, opening my box and pulling everything out. "Carl." I groan. "Where's your crazy girlfriend?" Ian asks, "Bathroom." He mouths and points towards the bathroom. "You can't leave for the simple fact, Carl fucked up again and needs you." Ian says with an innocent smile. "Fine, if I stay. I'm staying in your room." I wag my finger in Ian's face and he bites it gently, "Good." Ian says, walking away. "Carl, you okay?" I ask and just as he goes to speak, Kassidi comes out. "Carl, why are you talking to her?" "Because she's family, Kassidi." Carl defends me, "So, sis?" She asks and Carl nods, "Hey Sis." She says to me, "Hi." I speak in a mono tone as I put all my belongings back into their drawers.

"So you're staying?" I hear Lip's smart tone from behind me, "Not for you, for Carl and Ian and Franny." "And me?" He adds, "No, I've deemed you not my issue." I chuckle as I try to push past him. "Sade," He holds me in front of him, closing the door, "Sadie, I made a mistake. I said something that night because I was pissed off at Youens." Lip tries to explain himself, "And if you're going to take out your anger on me then that's not okay and you just fucked someone not even twenty minutes ago so what's your point?" "I just love you." "Who's you? Can I meet her?" I snark as I open the door and walk away from him. "You okay?" Debs asks, handing me Franny. "Yeah, I'm fine. How are you?" "Possibly pregnant, I don't know." "You didn't get the results, instantly?" I question and she shakes her head, "Shit, I'm sorry. It'll all work out babe. If you need any money just let me know, okay?" "I don't know what I'd do without you." She admits as she walks downstairs "I told you I'm always gonna be here." I smile, following her downstairs, "Crazy that you're the only one to keep promises around here. I hope Franny picks up that trait from you, I hope she's just like her Auntie Sadie." Debbie says, gently squeezing Franny's cheeks. "Offensive." Fiona teases. "Fi, your dog won't shut the fuck up." Carl says, coming downstairs behind me, "Not Rusty, he slept at the apartments with me." Fiona then grimaces at Kassidi, "What's with the documentary?" She asks, "I'm making Carl a video diary before he goes AWOL on me." Kassidi says, my body quivers at the thought of any of them going AWOL again, "Please not another AWOL Gallagher please." I gently grab Carl's face. "What about an AWOL Gallagher?" Ian asks, coming downstairs with Trevor, "Not you and better not be you." I mother Carl as he chuckles, "I'm serious." I scold gently, putting Franny in her highchair.