Only You - [Lip Gallagher]

only time will tell.

"You look good." I say, leaning against the door frame. "Thanks." Ian sighs and stands up, "Ready?" "Absolutely not." "Whatever happens, I love you and I'm here, okay?" I reassure him and he nods, "I know. Always." He smiles and grabs my hand softly. Today is the day we either lose Ian for a while or keep him until the next manic episode; I don't even know what'd be better for him–to stay or to go.

++

The court room fills with Ian fans, Lip's hands find a way to my knee as my leg begins to bounce erratically. "I find myself in these situations a lot with you guys." I look at him and Carl, "Hasn't been me in awhile." Carl justified and I reached over to smack his leg. He's sitting on my right while Lip is to my left, they know I need all the emotional support I can have, I don't do good in these situations when my boys are on the fence.

"All rise!" The bailiff says. My legs shake as I stand, Carl and Lip grab each of my hands and give them a squeeze, I could vomit all over the place right now. My whole body and insides are trembling, I hope Ian makes a smart decision today.

"Please be seated." The judge speaks softly, she seems nice. "So you're this Gay Jesus I've heard so much about." She starts and immediately my thoughts change; she hates him, he's fucked. "Uh, n-no Your Honor," Ian stands up, "I mean, yes, but my name is Ian Gallagher." He defends himself. "Alright, Mr. Gallagher. In the case of the state of Illinois versus Ian Gallagher for the felony crime of arson, how do you plead?" The judge asks and my head begins to pound and I have the biggest rock in my stomach. "Your Honor, a young man was being forced into a van against his will to be taken to a conversion camp. His would-be captors wanted to deny him of his true nature, and I stopped that from happening, so I will not apologize for that." I'm biting the inside of my cheek raw, the taste of blood fills my mouth but I can't seem to stop. "The people who were trying to change him were his family, people who were supposed to love him for who he was unconditionally, like my family has loved me." Ian chokes on tears as he turns back to face us, "And to not love that is the true crime. At the end of the day, everything I did, I did in the hopes that we would learn to love each other that way that Jesus taught and God intended and more importantly, the way that we all need. But, I understand there are laws and I broke one. I set fire to a van and in doing so, I turned what I intended to be a movement of love into a movement of anger." He looks to Geneva who is staring at him like a sad puppy, "It went too far, Geneva. Truth is, I am bipolar." He admits and I feel the world stop, "I was off my medication and I was in a manic state in which I was not in control of my faculties, so I plead not guilty by reason of insanity." Those words lift a little tension from my chest, at least he didn't take the plea, there is still hope.

The whole side full of (now) ex-fans of Ian, stand up and boo. Fiona, Lip, and I stand to support him and his plea. We will always have his back. "Order! Order!" The judge shouts while banging her gavel. "Any more of that and I will clear out this courtroom!" She finishes and Ian looks back at me, "I'm so proud of you." I mouth to him

++

"You decide what you want to do on your last day of freedom for a while?" Debbie asks Ian as we hand him garbage bags full of his belongings that he's shoving in the attic. "I don't think I want to do anything." He answers. "Ah, come on we gotta do something!" Lip says as he's buttoning his shirt. "I think I just want to hang out at the house today. You going into work today?" He asks Lip, "Nah, I got a job as this sober companion for the next couple hours. How about we ride up to Wrigley on the L and beat up a couple of Cubs fans." Lip suggests, "Absolutely not." I flick his ear, "Yeah, I don't need more time on my sentence." "Can't believe you scraped by with just two years." Lip chuckles, "I'm gonna miss you." I pout as he descends the ladder, "You'll be fine, I'll call everyday." "I'll visit every single day, don't tempt me." I wag my finger in his face, "What's a sober companion?" He turns to Lip after wrapping his arm around my neck. "I just babysit some rich lush, making sure they don't drink." Lip chuckles. "Anyone who can't stop drinking on their own is a pussy." Frank mutters, coming out of the bathroom. "You're just a big hairy one then, huh?" I snark, "Loose and smelly too." Ian adds, "We shouldn't joke about the female anatomy." Debbie scolds and I throw my hands up in surrender. "How about we go to a gay bar and get you laid." Debbie nudges his shoulder, "I'm pretty sure I'll get laid a lot in prison." Ian huffs, taking his arm from around me. "Guys, I seriously just want to relax at home." "Yo, what's the plan today?" Carl walks upstairs, "My new lady and I are supposed to go work out but I could cancel." "Is it that little bitch who fucked you in her room?" I ask and he nods, "She's so hot." "She punched you." I grimace, "She played softball like you." "She's probably lesbian, no offense Debs." "So are you a lesbian?" Carl argues, "No but ninety nine percent of softball girls are lesbian." I point out, "It's true, I've been doing research on lesbianism." Debbie says and Carl scoffs, "She's not! So are we doing anything or what?" "No, I want to stay home." Ian says and walks into his room.

"Guess I'll go to work then." Debbie says, leaving. "I'll be back for dinner, want me to pick up something?" Lip asks, "Whatever you want." Ian says, "Behave yourself." I mother Lip, "I will." He smiles and kisses my temple before leaving after Debs. "I'll be downstairs." Carl says as I walk into Ian's room. "I'm really gonna miss you." I sigh, sitting down next to him. "I'm gonna miss you a lot too." "If Mickey somehow reenters the country and comes looking for you, what do I tell him?" "Tell him I'll be back soon and I love him." Ian nods, "You love him, still?" "I don't think I'll ever not love him." Ian confesses, "I feel you on that one." "What's the deal with you two? Before I leave I'd like to know." "I'd to know too." I banter, "He fucked this bitch at Brad's wedding and hasn't talked to her or anyone that I know of since but all my time in dating him he's been a conniving, cunt. He's never gonna change no matter how bad I want him to, no matter how much love and support I give him I'll always be his second choice." "Not defending him, but when you first came into our lives, he'd lay in that bed and talk for hours and hours about you. I think that's why Carl became so in love with you too. Lip is fucked but I know he'd cut his dick off for you if that's what it took. I hope he figures it out because he'd be stupid not to." "He's a Gallagher, they never figure it out." I tease him slightly. "Fuck off." He nudges me

"Ian, some big dude is at the door looking for you." Carl comes upstairs, out of breath with bruises on his face, "What the fuck happened to you?" I ask, "Survival training. Kelly is a black belt and she's teaching me some moves." Carl says. "What'd he want?" "Says Joselito sent him." Carl answers, "Oh shit." Ian says and hurries downstairs. "Can you not kill him?" I ask the girl downstairs, "Don't worry, he's strong enough to handle me." She says before kissing him, "Ew." I mutter just before Ian walks in with the guy. "He's gonna show me the layout and shit for Beckman." Ian explains and I nod as they walk into the kitchen. "Can I participate?" I ask and Ian nods, pulling out a chair. "She's good, don't worry." He vouches for me as the man lays out a map drawn in crayon, "Okay, so this is the layout of Beckman Correctional, alright?" Ian nods, "This is the area you want to avoid, anything on the west side, the showers, this side of the yard, and these cells." He says, circling the 'west cells' location. "That's a lot of area I'm avoiding." Ian sounds nervous, "You'll thank me later. All the inmates over here are murders, murderer, murderer, murderer!" He repeats and my eyes widen each time, "Jesus." Ian and I mutter at the same time. "This is the primo area at Beckman," He circles the top right corner, "Alright I'm talking Disney compared to that shit over there. You'll get the good weed, your coke, your smoke, and your Snicker bars, anything you need. Anything from the west will be laced with shit that'll fucking kill you!" He shouts, "Got it." Ian says. "Back in Disney, you'll find the guys that give the best blowies." He draws a heart up in the top right corner, "Jesus Christ." I palm my forehead as he begins to draw dicks near the heart, "Ralphie, quick and easy. Old man Stewie, he's good, the Senator. Oh and Sasquach–still don't know why he's there. Big Pete, Medium Pete, all good." "Okay." Ian says and Fiona runs inside, "Hey guys, anyone got any cash? I need twenty five thousand dollars!" She says in a hurry as she looks in the closet we moved the old squirrel fund to. "What for?" I ask, "Investment." "What investment?" Carl asks. "I put one hundred thousand dollars into a parking lot that's gonna be-" "One hundred grand?" Carl, Ian, and I exclaim in unison. "Can't you sell something?" Carl asked, "No." "I can help you get twenty five thousand. I know a couple guys, they'll take a cut." The man walks up to Fiona and she looks up at him–he's HUGE. "Who are you?" "This is Antonio, a friend." Ian says and Fiona hesitates, "I'm good, I think I figured it out thanks." She says and grabs her cardboard filing box, "Sade and I are driving you to prison tomorrow, be ready." Fiona says and leaves the house. "Harsh." I mutter

++

"I've come bearing gifts." Lip announces, "And a person." "Oh shit. Jen Wagner." Kelly says, "Yeah, here I am." She sounds unenthused. "Sounds like you did your job." I say to Lip, taking the big bag of White Castle from him. "Thanks for dinner." Ian says and they hug quickly. "Debs, food!" I call up to her, grabbing Franny's tiny hand and walking her into the living room. "Fries?" She asks me, "Ask Uncle Lip if he bought fries, my love." I say to her and walk her to Lip who is unpacking all the food onto the counter, "Fries?" She asks him and he crouches down to her level, "Of course, I know they're your favorite and Auntie Sadie's." He says she jumps for joy chanting, "Fries!"

++

We have a great dinner, Fiona never showed up but I'm not surprised, her head has been in her ass for a few months now. She comes to ask for money or help with something with one of her buildings or investments. I'm proud of her for moving up the ladder all by herself but I kinda miss her around sometimes.

We told Kelly all the stories about Carl's childhood, I actually don't mind her–she's much better than Kassidi. I still think she's a lesbian though. 

Only time will tell.