Only You - [Lip Gallagher]

you don't know everything

"That didn't happen." I say, pulling up my panties and leggings. "It did." Lip smiles, "Doesn't mean we're back together." I inform, "Yeah but you're not with that loser from the arcade right? Or else that'd make you-" "Not together, not with him, not a cheater. Not. Not. Not." I roll my eyes, am I?

++

I walk down my hallway to see Parker standing there with a bundle of flowers; oh no why are you doing this to me? I feel awful. "Hi." I smile at him, "Hi, I just wanted to say sorry for eavesdropping." He says, handing me the flowers and chocolate. "Thanks, Parker." I smile and take them gently from him. "Can I come in?" He asks, "Oh, I had some writing to do but if you don't mind just sitting in silence, sure." I say, hoping he nicely goes away. "I don't mind." damnit.

"You know what I realized about you?" He says, looking up at me as I am writing in my journal, "Hmm?" I hum, not looking away from my page, "You like taking care of people because it heals the part of you that needs someone to take care of you." He says, making me stop writing, "That's why you keep going back to that house. Taking care of a family that isn't yours. One that doesn't take care of you." "Don't talk about them like that." I get defensive, "They've done a lot for me." "Like what?" He sits up, "They took care of me when I needed it the most." "How so? Seems to me like they're using you." He snarks, "Get out." I say with hot tears brimming my eyes, "Sadie, I'm sorry." "Out." I repeat, pointing to my door and shoving the flowers and chocolate into his chest. "Out." I say again, choking back angry, stressed tears.

Nobody talks about my family, nobody.

++

"Who's car is out front?" I ask, walking into the Gallagher house, "Mine, you like?" Fiona smiles, "Oh shit, congrats again!" I smile, "What's with Etta and the deadbeats?" I ask, "Etta is staying here for a while and who knows why they're here." Fiona waves them off, "Is Lip at the diner?" I ask her quietly and she nods, "Why?" "I need to talk to him." I sigh, "Everything okay?" I nod, "Yeah, see you later. Congrats on the car." I congratulate her again before leaving and driving to the diner.

I walk into the diner to see Lip at a table with a random man, "Hey." I greet softly, "Is this the bad breakup?" The man asks and I look at Lip, he nods. "I get it." The man says. "Is this a bad time?" I ask, "Uh, see you back at the house?" Lip says, "Frank and Monica are there." "Shit, uh, sit. It's fine. She's cool." Lip vouches for me. "When's the first time you had your first drink?" The man asks, "Fourth grade." "First time you puked?" Lip chuckles slightly, "Fourth grade." I begin to bounce my leg under the table. "My parents encouraged it actually." Lip begins to trauma dump. "Is that a joke?" The man laughs, "No," Lip shakes his head, "I mean, everyone knew I drank. I was in our house, friends' houses, school, everywhere you know it's just what the neighborhood's like." Lip continues and my hand goes right to his knee; silent comfort. "There's a reason people like it, you know? Feels good." Lip says and the man chuckles, "Feel good waking up in a hospital? Feel good losing the people that mean the most to you?" The man asks, glancing at me. "I've seen this all before. Mine was Madelyn Marris. She would scream her throat raw trying to get me to change, she'd stick around always making sure I was okay and I took it for granted. One day she finally had enough and moved on and that was the last I heard from her. She's doing great now, married, kids. Don't let it get there." He advises, Lip nods. I'm his Madelyn Marris.

++

"Sade, I'm gonna walk home. I gotta stop at the store." Lip says as we leave the diner, "You sure?" He nods, "Yeah, see you at home right?" "Yeah, I don't really want to go back to my dorm. See you at home." I rub his shoulder gently before going to my car and driving home. I hope he doesn't do something stupid.

++

"Woah, what library vomited in here?" Lip asks as he stands in the doorway of our old shared room, "Sorry, I have a big test tomorrow at nine and I couldn't study downstairs, Frank and Monica are loud and Etta is eating cat food." I scrunch my face in confusion and disgust. "Yeah." He chuckles, "What's in the bag?" I ask as he holds a brown paper bag, "Getting into knitting." Lip says, innocently as he reveals my favorite color green yarn. "That's my favorite color." I admire the string, "I know." He says, "Gonna make me a blanket?" I tease, "I can try." He chuckles, "Come on, let's go downstairs. I could use some shit show entertainment." Lip waves me over and we hurry downstairs. "My son!" Frank  says, "Come join the family." Frank pulls Lip over, "Sade." Lip holds his hand out for me to come next to him, "A toast!" Frank says, holding a glass in front of Lip's face, "None for me." He declines, "Come on!" Frank entices, "Frank, he's trying to avoid ending up like you." I insult, "He's getting sober, Frank." Debbie defends. "One glass!" Frank continues. "Do you know the meaning of the word 'sober'?" Fiona asks then quickly scoffs, "What am I saying? Of course not." Fiona shakes her head in disbelief. "I'll take his." Etta says reaching in between Lip and I. "You can toast with coffee, right Lip?" Monica asks, sweetly and he nods, "Sadie, you too?" "Water is fine." I respond as she trots to the kitchen. "You okay?" I whisper to Lip and he nods, squeezing my hand slightly.

"Here's one for my beautiful red-headed daughter," Frank hands a glass to Debbie, "And one for my beautiful dark son." Frank then hands one to Liam and Liam instantly puts his mouth over the glass, "No!" Fiona, Lip, and I all rush over and take the glass from him, "He's a baby!" I shout in disbelief, "He's seven!" Frank argues and I roll my eyes–pathetic. "Alright, who wants to give the first toast?" Frank asks as Monica hands Lip his coffee and me water. It's dead silent as we all gaze around the room at each other; who is going first? "I'll do it." Fiona offers. "What can I say about Frank and Monica that hasn't already been said?" She chuckles, Monica looks at her with slight fear; she knows what's coming out of her mouth, we all do. "You deserve each other." She keeps it classy and composed, Lip and I share a small smile, she did that so gracefully.

++

"Can I stay up here while you study?" Lip asks as he sits at the edge of our bed, "Sure." I nod. "I know you're trying to get your shit together. You've shown that to me today. I know it's not easy but you're doing a good job." I validate him. "I was wrong." Lip says, for the first time ever he was sincere about his wrong doing, "I was wrong to take you for granted. I realize that now more than ever." He says, picking up his brown bag of yarn, "Prepare for lots of knitted shit." Lip laughs gently. "Thank you." I say, admiring him. "For the knitted shit?" He asks and I shake my head, "For trying."

My heart has yearned for this Lip to come back, I feel the tingles all over my body again like the first time we met. I am irrevocably and undeniably in love with Philip Ronan Gallagher, this version.

My baby boy, Lip.