Be My Bad Boy (BWWM)

CH. 54 It hurts sometimes.

CH. 54 It hurts sometimes.

(Jamison POV)

Rosemary was staring at me; I wanted to know what she was thinking.

"You can just ask," Rosemary said, causing my eyes to widen.

"Oh, you can hear my thoughts," I said.

Rosemary tilted her head at me and analyzed me.

"Yes, Jamison. I'm in your mind." Rosemary said.

"Well, well, then," I said, chuckling as I was embarrassed.  Of course, Rosemary was never going to pretend she didn't hear something or didn't know the answer to something.

"It's okay, continue. Please, what happened?" She asked me.

"I kept seeing my mom after she died," I said in a low voice.

"Seeing her?" Rosemary asked.

"Yes, I would see her when you're a kid who found your mom dead, from an overdose. You think maybe you see things. Perhaps it's a figure of your imagination." I said.

"You don't think that your mother is haunting you," I said.

I saw the look that showed up on his face.

"She haunted you?" Rosemary asked me.

"The thing is I don't know if she was doing it intentionally or not," I said, shrugging my shoulder.

"What would she do?" She asked me.

"She would just hang around me; it was like she wouldn't really say anything but just be there." I shrugged my shoulders as if the mere thought of it was nothing, but it was something that I have been afraid to admit for a very long time.

"Have you ever spoke to her? Ask her why?" Rosemary asked me.

"Yes, once. It was the first time and last time I have ever spoken to her, and it was the day that I last saw her as well." I said.

I stood there, recalling that time, but while I remembered it. It showed itself instead.

So, that's how all of this work; if you remember something, A memory, or try to think of something, it shows itself.

So, now Rosemary and I were looking at memories.

The memories of my mom haunting me, and it finally got to the memory of the day I spoke to her for the first time since she's been dead.

"I still thought it was in my head, but I guess with everything that had been revealed now. That wasn't the case." I said as we both stared at the little boy version of me turning angrily but scared at the same time to face the ghost of his dead mother.

"I couldn't understand why she was blurry like that, but I still saw her through the blur and knew it was her," I said.

Rosemary and I both watch the younger version of me yell.

"What do you want?! You abandoned me; you never love me. You left me here, alone with strangers. You were never a mom. Leave me alone! I never want to see you again. I hate you!!!!" The younger kid version of me yelled at the blurry ghost.

It was this time, though, that I paid attention to her facial expression behind the blur.

Her facial expression fell.

She disappeared, and I turned my expression to my younger self and watched him cry in a corner by himself.

"So, I never got adopted. I stayed in the foster system until I aged out." I said, turning to face Rosemary.